I wanted to experience it all over again. And again.
Forever.
I wanted this forever with him.
For a long while after that, we just lay there, not saying anything. I was still basking in the afterglow.
I ran my hand up and down his back, enjoying the feel of his hard muscles there, enjoying the obvious difference between his body and my own. Which was why it took me a moment to realize he was quiet. Too quiet.
I pushed at his chest until he was off me. I felt empty from the feeling of him pulling out of me.
Empty and sore.
I ignored that and kept my gaze on him. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
I grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to my chest, wondering what the hell he was thinking.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
I didn’t think he was going to answer me for a moment. Then he looked at me, his face closed off. Elio was good at masking his expression. I never knew what he was thinking unless he told me.
“Isa, tell me why you decided to give your virginity to me.”
My face flamed. I couldn’t just tell him it was because no other men did anything for me. Because they weren’t him.
“Because it’s my choice,” I said finally.
His eyes turned sharp. “And you chose me.”
“Why wouldn’t I choose you? I know you. And I trust you.”
He shook his head. “I’m also your brother’s friend, and I doubt he would be happy to find out about this.”
“Why does Valentino have to know about it?” I asked, feeling a slight tinge of anger working its way up my spine. It was a shame, too. I had been feeling happy just mere seconds before. “What I do and who I do it with is none of his business.”
God, I didn’t even know who Valentino lost his virginity to. What was more, I didn’t want to know. So why should my brother be privy to this information about me?
“No one owns my virginity, Elio. It’s my choice.”
I threw the covers off and climbed off the bed, ignoring how vulnerable I felt. Ignoring the pain that was radiating between my legs, making it almost hard to walk. I wasn’t going to let him see me as anything but confident. He didn’t get to see my vulnerability now, not after that shit question.
He looked like he wanted to say something to me.
I walked out of the room without looking back. The first tear didn’t fall until I got into the hot shower, scrubbing away what should have been a perfect night.
It was completely ruined.
13
ELIO
I watchedas she walked out of the room, my heart feeling like it was about to drop straight to the floor.
A huge part of me wanted to go after her, but the other part just needed a fucking damn moment to think.
I closed my eyes briefly.
That was the problem. I wasn’t fucking thinking.
