“Okay.” He pours milk into a pan. The man is making cocoa…from scratch? Could he get any sexier?
“So, I was about sixteen when I realized I was Little. I was interested in things that weren’t fitting for my age, and those feelings wouldn’t go away. To me, it was sort of like when someone gradually realizes they’re gay, I guess. I was having thoughts that didn’t fit societal norms.”
Daddy nods. “That’s insightful for such a young age.”
I shrug. “I didn’t really act on my thoughts for a while. I didn’t even know how to. All I knew was that I daydreamed about playing with toys, wearing dresses like this one, having my hair in pigtails—like this—and sitting on a man’s lap. I was afraid to tell anyone, and I didn’t. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.”
“I’m sorry, Little one. That must have been scary.”
“Yeah. One day, I decided to do an internet search. I typed in all kinds of odd things until I found what I was looking for. I was so shocked. I didn’t have the word Little in my vocabulary. But when I found blogs written by people who felt exactly like me, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Finally, I had validation for my feelings and desires.”
Daddy smiles. “How old were you then?”
“Maybe seventeen. My new-found information empowered me. If I could have joined a club then, I would have. But you have to be eighteen. So, I created a fake profile on one of the fetish sites and pretended I was nineteen. I got into chat groups and forums and learned so much. The more I discovered, the more I knew I was not crazy and that I needed to be true to myself. I bought some Little things. I kept a stash of coloring books and crayons in a box in my closet, and I started filling it with some clothes for Littles, a sippy cup, hair ribbons, and a doll. Not a lot of stuff because I didn’t want to get caught.”
Daddy is frowning as he stirs the hot cocoa. The kitchen smells so good. He glances at me. “Go on, Baby girl.”
“One day, my mom found my stuff. I think she got suspicious about the amount of time I spent alone in my room, so she went through my things while I was at school. When I got home, she lost her shit. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen. She said my behavior was deviant and abhorrent. That I needed to stop immediately. She made me throw my entire box in the trashcan and pull it to the street. If I didn’t, she would take me to see a counselor.”
Daddy’s jaw is tight, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I was scared. I knew she would not just take me to any counselor, but she’d choose someone who would never begin to understand me. I was a senior in high school. I only needed to get through the end of the year. I knew I would come into my inheritance when I turned eighteen, so I found a lawyer. I made an appointment for the day I would turn eighteen, went to his office, and you know the rest of the story.” I’ve already told him how I came into my money and left.
“What about your sister? How old was she?”
“She’s a year younger than me. So, she’s twenty-one now. We were very different and never close. Growing up, we didn’t have anything in common. There was no animosity, exactly. It’s just that we had different friends and interests. We really grew apart when I realized I was Little. There was no way I was going to share that with her. I barely understood it myself. I couldn’t expect her to grasp the concept of such a niche fetish. Besides, I wasn’t sure she wouldn’t rat me out to Mom and Dad.”
Daddy turns off the burner and removes the cocoa from the hot stove. He comes to me and sets his hands on my thighs. “Do you think she knew you were Little?”
I shrug. “No idea. I certainly didn’t tell her. I also didn’t tell her I was leaving. I just left a note for my parents and disappeared.”
“Apparently, your parents must have known you were in Seattle at some point.”
I nod. Lillian implied that over the phone. “I’m just glad they never came after me. I suspect they wrote me off. They thought I was a freak and didn’t want to have anything to do with me. And good riddance.”
The doorbell rings, and I flinch.
Daddy brings his forehead to rest against mine. “I guess you’re about to get a lot of answers you don’t even have questions for.”
“Yeah.” I hold his shoulders as he lowers me to the floor. I’m scared out of my mind, but I have Daddy next to me. I’m going to survive this weird encounter with him by my side.
Chapter 18
Camden
* * *
My head is spinning from everything I just learned and have yet to learn. I can’t imagine why Lillian is here, but we’re all about to find out.
Simone holds my hand tightly as we head for the front door, and when I open it, I’m taken aback by the woman standing on the porch with Jameson and Natasha. She looks so much like Simone.
I step back, my fingers in Simone’s death grip. “Come in.”
Lillian looks very nervous as she steps inside in front of the others. She glances at me and then looks at Simone. “I’m so sorry to barge into your life, Simone. I’m sure you’re shocked.”
“Yes, but you’re my sister.” She releases me and closes the short distance to hug Lillian.
Lillian’s eyes are watery when they step back. “Thank you for agreeing to see me,” she whispers.
