Quinten laughs. “Touché. Not just submitting, but an impact scene might help you purge some of your icky feelings. A lot of people—especially Littles—can get a cathartic cry out of a good, hard spanking. Some even need a paddle or a crop.”
I squirm. That sounds amazing. I wonder if Camden would do it. “I think he’s worried about my emotional stability.”
“Do you think you’re ready for something like that?”
“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate.
“Have you done any impact scenes in the past?”
“No.”
He rubs his chin. “That does make things a bit trickier because you don’t know how you might react under normal circumstances. Nor does Camden. Also you don’t know how hard you like to be spanked or if you like to get release from a good cry.”
I deflate, my shoulders dropping.
“I’m not suggesting you don’t try. Just that Camden needs to take his time and check in with you often. How about if we bring him in when we’re done and talk to him about his feelings on the subject?”
I nod. Will he go for it? I’m not sure. He’s so careful with me.
“Talk to me about intimacy,” Quinten suddenly says, changing the subject four hundred and seventy billion degrees.
My cheeks heat.
“Have you had sex this past week?”
I look at my hands. I’m so embarrassed.
“There’s no right or wrong answer, Little one. I’m just trying to help figure out what might help and what won’t.”
I lick my lips. “I’ve never had sex.”
“Ah. Okay. And Camden knows this, I assume?”
“Yes. That’s probably why he won’t touch me intimately. It’s super frustrating sometimes. I know at first, I was really injured, but I’m better now. I wish he would stop coddling me.”
“Coddling isn’t always a bad thing.”
I shrug.
“But you’d like more.”
“Yes,” I whisper. This is beyond humiliating.
“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I’m asking these questions because when people suffer trauma, they often have problems with intimacy or lack of. Sometimes, the person has trouble letting their partner touch them. Even when an assault survivor wasn’t raped, they still might feel like they don’t want to be touched.”
“I don’t have that problem.”
“And then there’s the partner. They’re also dealing with the assault. They might feel angry with themselves for not being there. They might blame themselves. They might be anxious about touching their partner intimately either because they’re pissed off or because they’re afraid of traumatizing their significant other.”
“I think it’s all of those things. I know Camden plays the what-if game at least as much as I do. He’s mad at himself for not connecting with me sooner, so this wouldn’t have happened.”
Quinten lifts his brows. “That’s pretty cocky, even for Camden. If you were ten dates into your relationship, you still could have been attacked that night.”
I start laughing so hard I have to cover my mouth to try and stifle the giggles.
Quinten looks amused, smiling, but he waits for me to respond.
I shake my head. “Camden and I both know I never would have returned to my apartment from the onset of our first date. He would have brought me home and never let me go.”
