“How about an electric throw blanket?”
“I don’t know…”
She’s not sure any amount of heat will help her stop shivering. I get it. It’s worth a try, though. “Be right back.”
I return to my room and grab the throw blanket off my loveseat. It’s next to the hearth. I bet sitting close to a fire would help. I’ll set her up near one of the fireplaces tomorrow. It’s summer, but fuck, if it makes her stop shaking…
When I return with the blanket, she’s still violently shaking, and I want to curse the universe for letting this happen to her. It’s hard to keep reminding myself that it could have been worse. She will recover from this. It will just take time.
I plug in the throw, tuck it around her, and turn it on. My chest is tight. She’s staring blankly at nothing. Without moving or looking at me, she asks in a tiny voice, “Do you have any stuffed animals?”
Well, fuck me. I rise and head for the desk, beyond grateful I purchased the pink hippo one day when he caught my eye. I only got him because he matched Simone’s room’s décor, but he’s coming in clutch now.
Lifting the corner of the covers, I bring him into her line of sight. “He’s kind of silly,” I tell her. Is he too babyish?
A crooked smile spreads across her face, and she lifts her gaze to mine. “She’s not a boy, Camden. She’s a girl. I love her.” She snatches her out of my hands and tucks the hippo against her chest.
My heart. “I guess she’ll need a name then.” I sit on the edge of the bed again.
“Pinky,” she declares without hesitation.
It’s not very original, and it makes me chuckle. “Perfect.”
She takes some deep breaths. “I think I’m okay now. You don’t have to sit with me. I’m sure you’d like to go to bed.”
I’m not even going to look at my watch. I’m sure it’s closer to morning than midnight, but I don’t care. All that matters is that my girl is taken care of. “I’ll wait until you fall asleep, Little one.” I gently stroke her hair. I don’t want to keep her awake, but I need to touch her in some capacity.
It takes a long time for her to stop shaking and her breathing to even out in rest. I’m relieved when she finally finds slumber. I want to sit next to her all night, even though I need to sleep. I’ll be no good to her tomorrow if I don’t get some rest.
It hurts to leave her, but I force myself to stand. When I turn off the lights, a pink princess nightlight comes on automatically. It’s also probably too babyish, but the truth is I have no idea what age range my Little girl might prefer in the long run. I doubt she does, either. We’ll have to experiment. Trial and error.
I head to my bedroom, leaving both her door and mine wide open so I can hear her if she needs me. My limbs are heavy and I’m exhausted as I strip out of my clothes and pull on a pair of cotton shorts. Letting out a huge sigh, I slide under the covers and stare at the ceiling.
It seems like a million things happened in the last few hours. None of them were expected. I’m filled with mixed emotions. I hate that Simone was attacked. I’ll never forgive myself for dragging my feet with her and inadvertently causing this to happen.
It doesn’t matter that my thoughts are irrational. They’re valid. I could have asked her out a week or two ago. I could have taken her to Surrender myself so she wouldn’t have gone alone. There are so many what-ifs.
I know none of this is directly my fault. I didn’t attack her. But fuck. I could have prevented it if I hadn’t been stalling.
I probably should have ordered her some clothes before I went to bed. There’s no way I’m going to leave her to get things from her apartment tomorrow. She’ll just have to wear my T-shirts until I can make other arrangements. She’s not going to want to get out of bed much anyway. She’s going to be sore when she wakes up and for the next several days.
I’m still staring at the ceiling when a shadow blocks the faint light from the hallway. I turn my head to find Simone shuffling toward me, clutching the hippo in one hand, and I rise onto my elbow. “Trouble sleeping, Little one?”
“Please can I sleep with you?” she asks in a soft voice.
It’s probably a horrible idea, but I scoot over a few feet and pull the covers back. “Climb up.” I can’t deny her. I’ll never be able to. It would be best if she didn’t find out how tightly she has me wrapped around her pinky for as long as possible, but most likely, if she asked me to take her parachuting tomorrow, I would warm up the car and buckle her in.
Jumping out of a plane is not on my bucket list. Hopefully, it’s not on hers either.
When she climbs into the bed, I wrap my arms around her and carefully spoon her against me. It takes a minute to smooth her hair away from my face, but when I lie my head down, I feel a hundred times calmer. Based on her heart rate, I’d say she does, too.
She’s holding the hippo against her chest as she inhales deeply and then lets it out. “Thank you.”
“Just so you know, you’re never sleeping anywhere else again after this, Simone.” I try to sound light, but I’m anything but casual about this. She’s in my bed. It will smell like her in the morning. I’ll never let her sleep in another room or location after this.
My mind wanders to the future. Sometimes I have to travel for a few days for a conference. She’ll have to come with me. I’m fucking serious about this. My arms are around my girl. This is where she belongs. I’ll never be able to sleep without her.
She doesn’t respond to my pronouncement, but she snuggles in deeper.
