Little Rock, Arkansas
Age: Thirty-seven
Occupation: Professor of Criminal Law at LR Community College
Livesin a modest single-story with white trim and a porch swing that’s seen better days. Two kids. A boy—Austin, fourteen. A girl—Chrissy, twelve.
The report had felt clinical.Cold, dry facts and matter-of-fact statements. But sitting here, staring at the house, it felt anything but. I hadn’t felt so warm and alive in months, and I wasn’t even with her. I was just reading about her. That hit hard.
It had been years since she walked out. I found myself wondering if she’d really let go of me, cause I sure as hell hadn’t let go of her.
I hadn’t been sitting there long when a blue pickup pulled up to the house. The driver's door opened, and Detective Maddox climbed out, looking like he owned the place.
His shirt was tucked in, and he had his sunglasses on top of his head in that way that cocksuckers do. Seconds later, the back doors flew open, and two kids got out. They were moving too slow for his liking, so he shouted, “Any day now!”
The son shook his head with aggravation as he tossed his backpack over his shoulder and started up to the front door. The daughter followed behind with her head down, and even though I didn’t know the kid, it was clear she was upset about something.
Maddox gave them a quick wave as he ordered, “Call me later.”
The asshat didn’t even wait for them to make it inside before he was back in his truck and peeling off. Damn. I didn’t like that guy, and if their standoffish behavior was any indication, they didn’t care for him much either—at least, not at the moment.
I sat there for a while longer, hoping maybe she’d come out.
I wanted to see her, even if it was just for a second. But the door stayed shut. And eventually, the sun started to set, and the lights came on.
A few houses down, a man came out to his car, and he noticed me right away. He leaned to the side, getting a good look at me. I took that as my cue to leave. I started the engine, and after one last look at the house, I pulled away.
I didn’t get what I came for.
But I wasn’t giving up. Not even close.
The next morning, I was sitting at her college with a campus map in my hand. I’d studied the thing for God knows how long before I finally found the building where Devin taught. I sat there a minute, trying to decide if this was a bad idea, and the next thing I knew, I was pulling off my cut and lying it across the back seat.
Last thing I needed was to draw more eyes than I already would. I wasn’t exactly subtle, even without the patch. I was a good bit older and a lot more rugged than most of the folks on campus.
I pulled her schedule up and double-checked the time before getting out of the truck. I crossed the lot, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t belong there. I didn’t. Not with all these kids with their backpacks slung over their shoulders and coffee cups in their hands. They walked around like they didn’t have a care in the goddamn world.
I won’t deny it. I was a little envious. They were all around the age Devin and I were back when we were dating. It was a time when it was new and hot and full of things that felt likeforever. I passed a couple sitting on a bench. They were tucked in close, laughing about something on a phone screen, and it hit me in the gut harder than I expected.
We weren’t kids anymore. We certainly weren’t the kids we were back then. Time had taken its toll. We’d both been through stuff, and for better or worse, it had changed us. There was a chance I might not even like the woman she’d become, and there was an even better chance she wouldn’t like the man I’d become.
Fuck.
What the hell was I doing here?
I looked around at the trimmed hedges, clean sidewalks, and bulletin boards covered in flyers for poetry nights and tutoring sessions, and I couldn’t have felt more out of place.
I almost turned back.
Almost.
But then I looked up and realized I was already there, standing in front of her building like a damn statue. I stared up at the glass doors like they held the answers to every question I’d ever been too pissed or too proud to ask.
Then, they opened, and Devin stepped out.
She looked quite different than she had at the casino. The mini skirt and low-cut blouse had been replaced with khaki slacks and a navy blouse. Her hair was pulled back, and she held a stack of papers against her chest.
She looked older.
