“Oh, Sophie.”
Xavier thoroughly loses himself, instinctively covering his mouth with his hand as his gaze tenderly falls upon our child, filled with deep, protective love.
Our hearts swell together in this moment, united by an unspoken bond.
Isabella dashes through the door, followed closely by Courtney and the rest of our found family. She runs up to Xavier, desperate to glimpse her little brother’s face. She’s been nestled against my belly for months, thrilled to finally have someone to play with. I stroke her copper braid while smiling.
“Say hi, Izzy. Say hi to Thomas.”
Courtney circles the couch to kiss my head, just like she has all of my life. “I'm off to bed, darling.”
“Let me walk you.”
“I'm notthatold yet.”
She gently caresses the tiny bundle in my arms, smiling as Thomas blinks tiredly, wrapped in the hand-knitted feeding blanket Dao gave us. “He has Xavier’s eyes. You can see the green coming in.”
I smile and lean against him, delighted when he makes a contented sound and tilts into my kiss. Months have passed, yet I'm still captivated by him, finding it hard to believe he’s mine.
“You started to glow after you came here,” Courtney says, staring between us. “You haven’t stopped since.”
The house took time to transform into a true sanctuary, but gradually, we filled it with cherished memories. Family and friends’ photos cover all the walls. I frequently find myself lost in thought, imagining that imposing mansion in upstate New York or his father’s Manhattan penthouse, reflecting on the fleeting moments of the past that we can never relive. Ourexistence has been erased by now, a new overlord ruling the streets in Xavier Marcello’s place.
In stark contrast to that life, toys are playfully scattered across these hardwood floors. A blown glass vase overflowing with wildflowers graces the dining table, replenished each week by Xavier after he returns from our friend’s nearly completed homes. And nearby, a stack of drying dishes rests by the kitchen sink. This isn't just a house; it's a home brimming with life, a serene retreat where we’ve found peace.
“I'm so happy, Courtney.” The confession lodges in my throat. “I didn’t know it was possible.”
She fights back tears as she gently strokes my face. “Then my prayers have been answered.”
Once she leaves, taking a steaming cup of tea with her, I turn off the lights and check every lock and window. Even after all this time, it’s something I still haven’t been able to quit. I climb the stairs cautiously to keep from disturbing Thomas, sneaking into the nursery to settle him for the night. Bringing the monitor along, I leave the door slightly open and peek into Isabella’s room.
“Your Mamma is here with you, Iz,” Xavier says. “Talk to her. She can hear you.”
A framed photograph of Bellarosa and Caesar sits on her nightstand. In this snapshot of time, Rosa is laughing at something her husband said, her red hair styled in a wild bun similar to the one Isabella is wearing now. Xavier scoured the internet for months to track down a single photograph of them. He said there was no way he would let her forget their faces.
Xavier turns, finding me watching them at the door. He smiles, gesturing for me to come in. I crawl onto Isabella’s bed, and she nestles into my side, closing her eyes. She will spend her whole life missing her mother, but she will never not know what it’s like to have one.
Given my childhood, I really thought this would be the worst outcome of my life. Motherhood felt like a burden in my home, something that filled me with dread. It wasn’t until I was deep into my marriage that I discovered there was something different. A different way to live.
And every day, I wake up glad to have found it.
Painted French doors bang against the breeze, sending warm air through our bedroom, dancing along my spine as Xavier’s hands trace the path of my back, pulling me in closer by my shoulders. His eyes are closed as I gently glide my lips across his face, overwhelming him with love I can't quite express.
Heat lightning laces across the brightening sky as the sun kisses the horizon, spilling color onto the surface of the ocean. Cicadas drown out all else, serenading the fading night. The tang of salt lingers on our lips as I entwine my arms and legs around him.
Settled on his lap, my hips sway back and forth, reveling in the overwhelming fullness. Xavier gathers handfuls of my hair, craving this connection as intensely as I do.
I'm at my safest when he’s inside me.
After the life I’ve lived, that’s a miracle.
Although the effects of what I’ve been through haven’t faded, and nightmares regularly pull me from bed ready to fight, Xavier is always there, right beside me—nestled in our own personal paradise.
No guards hover outside the doors. No gun rests on the nightstand. No impending doom hangs over our heads. Xavier isn’t stepping into danger every time he leaves the house.
This past year of our lives has been spent appreciating the people we love, who saved us when we thought we were beyond redemption.
Through all of this, we dedicate our days to our children, rediscovering the innocence stripped from us through a love that is entirely unconditional.
