While I wait by the steps of my building, Benjamin shuts the door to the limo, looking cool, calm, and collected. Other than his tousled hair and missing tie, you’d never be able to tell what went down in that back seat.
I sit down on the steps, pat the spot next to me, and he sits.
“Quite a night,” I offer first, knowing we can’t sit here all night without speaking.
He smirks. “Yes, you certainly know how to liven up an event.”
He focuses on his hands for a moment while I stare at the building across the street. There are new flowers on Mrs. Delany’s steps.
“So, should we not see each other anymore?” he asks, squinting in what looks like disdain.
“That’s probably best,” I reply reluctantly.
A winded exhale leaves his lips. “Christ, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have initiated that in the car.”
“It was just as much my fault as yours.” I get to my feet. “And Ididkiss you first.”
He looks up at me, smiling just barely. “Yes, you did.”
My nerves are shot, making it difficult to feel much. Everyone reaches a limit.
“I really don’t want to say goodbye so I’ll just say I’ll see you later.” My throat constricts laboriously and I climb the first step.
“I’ll see you later,” he responds mildly, and I shut my eyes. Thishurts.
“Wait, Darcy.”
I turn, my brows high with hope.
“May I kiss you before you go?”
Oh.
I know immediately I’ll never forget what he looks like in this exact moment. The way his hands are dangling limply at his sides, his lips formed into a frown. His thick mane of luscious hair framing a flawless face, which holds an expression that makes me believe he’s both happy and upset that I’m inching toward him, scaling down the steps with caution. He stops on the same step as me and stares down into my eyes, his six-foot-four frame towering over me. I wrap my arms around his waist, lean my head onto his chest, and embrace him tightly. He surrounds my shoulders with his strong limbs and his lips are against my hair.
I can’t force him to feel anything for me. I can’t force him to say something he doesn’t believe in. He’d only resent me if I tried. He has to want it.
A group of people walk by us, laughing, and it makes me wonder how long we’ve been standing like this. I tilt my head up, waiting with trepidation for his farewell. His lips graze mine and I dig my hands into his tuxedo jacket and tug him closer to me.
The emotion, the passion, is there as it always is and I mold to him.
“I love you,” I whisper in between his kisses, unable to keep it in anymore, and he stiffens. He is the first to pull back, taking my hands off his jacket. He stares down at me, conveying an emotion with his eyes that I can’t even begin to describe.
I want to tell him I can’t help saying it, that it’s all I’ve wanted to say since I first stepped into his office. That I want to say it to him for the rest of my life. He makes his way to the car, his back completely rigid.
I watch agonizingly as he settles in his seat after closing the door. I circle my arms around my body, tears blinding the view as the limo drives away.
***
Kevin sits up from his spot on my bed, his eyes wide like an owl’s when I step into the apartment.
“Darcy, what happened?”
“I’m not seeing him again.” I feel sick.
“Oh shit, baby.” He opens his arms and I immediately walk into his hard body, embracing him tightly. Any comfort will do at the moment. “Tell me all about it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
