“What did it say?”
I nuzzle my nose into his chest, smelling my favorite cologne on his expensive jacket. “He was in critical condition. The article I read said he had driven himself to the hospital and told them I stabbed him, and that I had anger issues. He had said it to all my teachers when I tried to tell them how horrible he was to me.”
“They never saw the scars?”
“No, but one saw my bruises. My eighth-grade teacher. She showed up at the house one day, said she was worried about my home life. She was a nice lady. But my uncle, he was good-looking and charming…he told her I tried to hurt myself to get attention because of my parents’ deaths and she ended up believing him. The cigarette burns happened that night and I never tried to tell anyone again.”
“I wish you had killed him.”
“Yeah, sometimes I wish I did too.”
“I don’t even know what to say except I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say anything. I have a happy life now. I like to keep him in my past.”
He gently lifts my head so I’m forced to look in his eyes. The soft pads of his thumbs wipe beneath my eyes and I cringe when I see black smudges on his fingers. Damn it, this makeup is probably halfway down my face.
“That’s the reason I can’t be with you again.”
His face contorts with anger, with confusion. “What do you mean by that? Are you saying I control you?”
“No, not in the way you’re thinking.” I push his hands down from my face. His touch makes my brain swirl with incoherence. I need to stay focused. “You have a power over me, so strong it scares me. When you fired me, it took a long time to feel okay again.”
“Do you think the time without you was easy for me, Darcy?” he replies, piercing my soul with those big green eyes.
“You spent the entire month raiding through women, Benjamin. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I was with those women to try andforgetabout you!”
I am at a loss for how to respond to him. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do right now, but it’s cruel.”
“Cruel?”
“Yes, cruel! You say these things and it gets my hopes up, and then you back away and I have to pick myself back up all over again. I’m tired of chasing after you. I’m tired of trying to get you to say the words.”
John is crazy. I can’t fight. I whirl away from him and make a beeline for the door of the conference room.
“Darcy!” he exclaims as I shut it firmly behind me. He yanks it open. “Darcy, stop! Where are you going?”
“I’m going home,” I announce irrationally. “Thank you for this evening, Benjamin.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you don’t want me to take the job with Cindy now, just tell me.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he hisses furiously, grabbing my arm before I reach the sliding doors of the convention center. People are eyeing us suspiciously.
“Let go of me,” I mutter, my voice surprisingly calm.
He releases me instantly. “Do you think I’m trying to bribe you with that job or something? Do you honestly think I’d only give it to you if you sleep with me?”
“No.”
“Fuck, Darcy. I may be an asshole, but I’m not that horrible. I want you to have that job because I care about your well-being! I don’t want you in that bar anymore!”
“You don’t get to decide that.”
“But I can damn well influence you in another direction,” he seethes, narrowing his eyes. “Dammit, Darcy, why does every conversation we have end with a fight?”
