“Darcy, what’s going on? Why are you mad at me?”
“Because you’re anasshole,” I hiss. The microwave dings and I open it, grabbing the plate, but drop it on the counter when it burns me.“Fuck!”
“Stop.Stop.” He flips on the light and takes my hand. There are swollen burn marks on my first three fingers. He races to his bedroom and returns a second later with toothpaste. I raise my eyebrows.
“It helps with the sting.” He puts a small amount on his finger and proceeds to rub the minty paste onto mine. Sure enough, I start to feel the burning sensation diminish. “There. Now tell me what’s going on.”
I back up hard against the counter when he cages me between his arms so I’m captive to his intoxicating smell.
“Do you have any idea how you made me feel earlier, Benjamin?” He inspects me wordlessly, his features crinkling with insensitivity and I have my answer. “No, I guess you don’t. Do you fuck all your women and then leave them as soon as you come, Ben?”
“I took a shower,” he replies, his eyes alight with surprise. His hair is wavy and tousled from sleep. It hurts to look at him.
“You had barely finished before you left to wash me off of you. I’m not like these other women you date. I don’t just have meaningless sex to get up in the world. I’ve told you—showedyou things I’ve never shown another soul.”
Running a hand through his dark hair, he shakes his head in frustration. “I told you I don’t date, Darcy.”
“So this was a meaningless fuck, then?” My lips are trembling so I bite down to try to conceal it. I’m unable to hide my embarrassment.
“Of course it wasn’t. I care about you.”
“Bullshit, Benjamin. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You push everyone away. God, I thoughtIwas bad.”
I open the drawers to find a cloth to hold the plate with.
“I never once promised anything more than what I was giving, Darcy,” he says. “Don’t make me seem like the bad guy here.”
“You-You told me—” I stop myself, remembering every conversation we’ve ever had and how each time he always made sure to never, ever give me hope.
“You’re right. You are so right. How stupid of me.”
“Darcy, I do care about you. I want us to be friends. I thought you knew that this would be a one-time thing.”
I spin around to face him. “I know now.”
His features soften with something that resembles pity and I look down, hating he can see me so upset by him. “Look, Darcy, if I’d have known you were this angry in—”
“Oh come on, Ben. You’re a smart man. Are you honestly telling me you had no idea that what you did would hurt? Do I seem like the kind of woman that would do that kind of thing?” I snatch a bottle of water from the fridge.
“No.”
“Then why did you do it?”
He sits down on the couch in the living room, rubbing his hands together. “I shouldn’t have. It was spur-of-the-moment.”
“Fuck you.” I snatch the dish and storm to my bedroom, slamming the door with my foot behind me. Within moments, he is on the other side of the door.
“Darcy, shit, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean that. I-I meant what I said about wanting you since I first saw you. An opportunity arose and I took it.”
What the fuck?
“God, that didn’t come out right either. I honestly don’t know how to do this. Please just open the door so we can figure this out.”
I swing it open and his wary green eyes pierce mine. “There is nothing left to figure out.”
“I’d be a horrible boyfriend to anyone, Darcy. I care about you too much to try to put you through my messes. You’ll see. I have a lot of enemies. It’s better for me to be alone.”
The words fall from my lips before I even know I was thinking them.
