We’re standing outside the room now.
Benjamin runs his large hand over his face. “Jesus.”
He opens the door gently as if Arthur’s merely sleeping.
My heart sinks as I look upon his still frame connected to machines. The dull beep that rings through the room is the harsh reality of the state he is in. If it weren’t for that beep, I wouldn’t be able to believe it. I wouldn’t be able to believe that he’s helpless here.
Benjamin is like a statue at the door, unmoving. I walk slowly over the side of the bed and take Arthur’s warm hand in mine. “Hey, Art. It’s Darcy and Benjamin,” I say softly, looking over his sickly features. I sit down gently on the corner of the bed. “Sorry we haven’t been here sooner.”
My brain is working double time, trying to come up with something to say. The only thing that comes to mind is rehashing old memories of our visits. I quickly fumble through sentences, trying to contain my emotions.
I’m startled when I hear the door click and look over to find Benjamin gone.
What?
I wait a moment to see if he reenters, but he doesn’t.A phone call?
I turn back to Arthur and rub his hand. “Where was I?”
***
After about fifteen more minutes, I stand, kissing Arthur’s forehead before I walk out. I close the door gently, letting out the breath I didn’t know I had been holding. I’m heading for the waiting room when I see Doris and a doctor coming my way. The doctor continues down the hall when Doris stops in front of me.
“Have you seen Benjamin?” I ask.
“I saw him go outside. Is he okay?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m gonna go find him. I’ll be right back.”
I pass the now-empty waiting room and head straight out the doors without my coat. My heart rate picks up when I don’t see him outside. I keep walking. Snowflakes land on my face as I walk the grounds in search for him.
I exhale when I finally spot him. “Benjamin?”
He’s sitting on a bench without his coat, his head down.
I bend down in front of him, resting my hands on his knees. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
It takes me a split second to realize his shoulders are shaking.
Holy shit.
I let my knees touch the ground. I lay a hand on his face and push back his hair, trying to get a good look at his face. “Benjamin?”
“Please.” He pierces me with glimmering green eyes, drowning in emotion. “Just go.”
“No.No, Benjamin, what’s wrong?”
He moves his head from my grasp and looks the other way. “Darcy—”
“Please, Ben. Just let me help you.” I press my cold hand to his chest. “I’m here for you.”
“I don’t want your help right now, Darcy. Just go back inside.”
I sit in shocked silence. Is he upset because of Arthur? Why won’t he talk to me? I knew he and Arthur were pretty close, but I had no idea it would affect him this much.
“Arthur has had a good life, Ben. He—”
He turns his head to face me and it shuts me up quick. His look is lethal. “I’m not thinking about Arthur, Darcy.”
