What I want:
Martin House
A home where I feel safe
Trustworthy friends
Him
The last word’s letters were smaller, and an ink blotch spread from the tail of them, where her pen had lingered.
What I can have:
Friends
Partnership with cousins=Martin House=safe home
Tears gathered as she stared at that ink blotch. When one fell onto the paper and turned the script into a murky river, it felt oddly fitting.
“Couldn’t you sleep?” Hattie’s voice, drowsy and rough, came from behind her. “Your kettle’s hot. Were you wanting tea?”
Connie swiped at her eyes before her cousin could see the tears. “Yes. Thank you.”
The familiar sounds of tea preparation came from behind her, and Connie knew Hattie would give her a few minutes before she pressed.
True to form, it wasn’t until the cup appeared at her elbow and Hattie sat down that she spoke. “Any particular reason you decided to do paperwork at three in the morning? Usually, if you’re up like this, you’re bustling about. You’re not like that tonight.”
Wordlessly, Connie handed her the list she’d made. A moment later, Hattie murmured, “I see. Can you help me understand what this means, exactly?”
Like a dam breaking, the worries over her parents retiring, losing her home if the store sold, and the things she’d tried in an effort to fix the problems her father foresaw, came pouring out of her. “I need help. If we band together, I’m sure my parents will let us run the store. As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t do this alone. This blasted brain of mine doesn’t work like yours or Caro’s. She actually enjoys recordkeeping. Which makes me think she’s sick in the head, but that’s another matter entirely. Please, Hat. We work well together. You’re much more consistent regarding these office things than I am. If we divide everything up, or if Caro wants to hire a bookkeeper, we could keep Martin House. When my parents move to Kent, one of us will take their room, and we can grow old together. We’ll make a grand time of it.”
Above the collar of her wrapper, Hattie’s throat worked.Before she could protest, Constance added, “Including Caro means you can leave at any time if you need to. I know you don’t want to feel bound to one place.”
Hattie’s eyes lowered to the cup she held, then the paper. One finger reached out and settled on the list. “What about this?”
Himwith the tearful ink spot.
“I think we both know the likelihood of two Martin House girls becoming titled ladies is a bit far-fetched.”
A furrow appeared between Hattie’s eyebrows. “You’re giving up? That’s not like you. You’re one of the most resilient, determined people I know.”
Connie cocked her head. “What?”
“No matter what happens, no matter how hard you struggle with something, you don’t give up. Determination. And eventually, you find a way through. That’s resilience.”
“I suppose I’ve never viewed it that way. I think I tend to see the struggle rather than the perseverance. Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome. Now, are you going to apply that determination to Southwyn?”
Oh, she wanted to. How Connie wished she could stand and declare, like the hero in a book, that no obstacle was large enough to keep her from what she wanted. Alas, reality and logic pointed toward nothing but failure.
The thought sparked a bitter laugh. Southwyn must be rubbing off on her.
“I want him. I don’t deny that. And after our little interlude the other night, I think we need to have an honest discussion. The problem is, he’s engaged to Althea. Even if they aren’t happy about it, her mother is planning a grand society wedding. Unless Althea’s beau finds a way for them to be together, the engagement stands.”
“Will you call on him this morning?”
Constance nodded. Taking matters into her own hands, marching into Southwyn’s home, and telling him to explain exactly where they stood was the right thing to do. “As soon as it’s a reasonable hour, yes.”
