The answer sounds so defeated, but I take it as a win. Some air will do her good, some food will be even better.
And if she is pregnant, I plan on making sure everything is fine with her and the baby.
We’ve been sitting herefor a little while, and I’m unsure how to bring up the question. What if I’m wrong, and I make things awkward? Or what if I’m right, and she has a breakdown because this isn’t something she wants?
I’ll be there to hold her up and be the strength she needs, but still, it’s something I have no knowledge of. Because if she is pregnant, I need to make sure both of them are healthy.
“Rylee.” I mumble her name against the top of her head from where we sit, cuddled together, watching the people outside who are walking past the coffee shop window.
I wanted to bring her some place she felt comfortable, so I brought her to the cafe she works at. Her boss took one look at her and knew exactly why she hadn't been into work for awhile.
She gave me a sad smile and told me that the food and drink were on the house.
Rylee hasn’t touched a bite of her croissant, and it’s taken everything in me not to press her to eat something, because I doubt she’s had a real meal since everything blew up.
“Mhhmm?” She hums her response, and I let out a sigh of relief that she heard me. It means she’s not as dejected as she was before.
“When I was doing the laundry earlier, I found something in the hamper from your bathroom,” I start, waiting to see what she does.
She says nothing for a few moments, but then her body goes stiff.
“Yeah?” she finally answers.
“Yeah.” I kiss her shoulder, nodding my head. “Any idea what it could have been?”
“No.” Her voice cracks, giving away her lie. My arms wrap around her tighter, trying to let her know that I’m not going anywhere.
“It’s okay, you know,” I say softly. “I’m here for you, baby.”
Rylee breaks down, full sobs ripping from her throat as she turns around in my arms, straddling my lap, so she can bury her face into my neck. I wrap my arms around her again, stroking her back and hair as she cries.
“It’s not going to be okay.” She sniffs. “Nothing about this is going to be okay.”
She pulls back, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “You're not alone, Rylee,” I reassure her, reaching up to brush some of the hair from her face. “You have me. You have Donny, Mateo, and Colton. And your friends. You're not alone.”
Letting out a sad laugh, she shakes her head. “It’s not only me who’s broken, Trevor. All three of them have their own things going on in their lives that has nothing to do with what happened with Lennox. Now addthaton top of it, and everything is a fucking mess. I’m a mess. What am I going to do with a baby? That's the last thing they need to worry about right now.”
“So, you don’t want this?” I ask, making sure my question doesn’t come off as accusatory or judgemental. I believe Ryleehas the right to do with her body as she pleases. If this baby isn’t what she wants, I’ll support her decision, but I believe she needs to talk to all of the guys before making a big choice like that.
In the end, though, it’s her right to choose, but this is big. Keeping this baby, or not, isn’t something to decide lightly.
She claps my face between her tiny cold hands. “That’s the thing, Trevor. I want this baby so badly that it hurts.” Tears roll down her cheeks, and I use my hands to brush them away. Fuck, seeing her like this guts me.
“There’s nothing fucked up about that Rylee.” I smile up at her, moving my head to the side to kiss her lips. “You're allowed to want this, to be happy about it.”
“How?” The question comes out broken. “How can I be happy when everything inside of me is broken? I can’t even take care of the ones I love, how can I take care of a baby?”
“You have me. I’m here for you, for anything you need, Rylee. I’m gonna be right by your side. We’ll get through this. I’ll do what I can to help the guys, but my main focus is you and this baby.” I lower my hand down to her flat belly, a surge of emotion filling my every cell.
“But, why? This baby might not even be yours. Depending on how far along I am.” She sniffs.
“Because.” I chuckle softly, reaching up with my free hand to lace my fingers into the hair at the back of her head, gently pulling her down to me. “I love you. I love every part of you. And this baby is half you. So I’m already in love.”
“Fuck,” she chokes out. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Nah, baby.” I press a soft kiss to her lips. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”
We stay like this for a while, just locked in one another’s embrace.
