They want him back, and he wants the same, that much is clear. As for me, I’m more than okay with welcoming him back. After everything he’s been through, he deserves his family by his side.
But something that needs to change is all of these damn secrets. I hate them. They’re eating me alive. Knowing so much, and having to keep my mouth shut about them, isn't fair to me or the guys.
I understand why Rylee kept everything to herself, as she didn’t want to stress the guys out, or add more to their plate. But now, there’s no reason to lie anymore.
Is this the best time to break the news? Probably not, but it’s better late than never, right?
“Rylee, babe, come with me to get another drink?” I ask her, unable to take the awkward energy anymore.
“Sure,” she says, moving to stand.
“Get me a beer,” Mateo grumbles. He's in some sort of stare off with Lennox, who’s sitting on the other side of the table, chewing on his lower lip, looking nervous and unsure. “Or five.”
“I think we need shots,” Donny adds. “Like a lot of them. I don’t think any of us want to be sober tonight.”
“I could use a drink. Or two.” Colton sighs.
“I’ll, ahh, I’ll send someone over.” I laugh awkwardly, grabbing Rylee’s hand and pulling her away from the table.
“Whats going on?” Rylee asks. “You seem so eager to get away.”
“And you aren't?" I ask, raising a brow with a small smile on my face.
“Yeah, okay.” She huffs out a laugh. “Things are pretty tense over there. I don’t think any of us know what to say, or how to approach where we go next, you know? After months of being away from one another, a lot of things have changed.”
“You could start by letting them know about the baby.” I try to lightly toss my suggestion in there.
I know the moment her face drops that it was not the right thing to say. The thing is, it never will be. It seems like if Rylee could have it her way, she would bury this deep down and never tell them about the baby. I don’t understand why though.
She’s due in a few months. She’s had no care. She refuses to even acknowledge the fact she’s pregnant. I don’t know what’s changed from when she first found out to now.
Before, she was excited, but wanted to keep things to herself until the situation got better. By the end of the summer, I thought that would be the right time, since the guys were in better spirits. But as soon as we got back to school, Rylee retreated in on herself, acting as if there was no baby.
I suspected initially that it was due to her depression and stress—better to deny things than accept them, to avoid more stress—but this has gone too far. It’s too much.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” she whisper-shouts. “We just got major bombs dropped on us and you want me to toss in the fact that I’ve been pregnant. Not only that, butI’ve been keeping it from them for months? No.” She shakes her head. “Thats not happening, Trevor.”
“You need to tell them,” I insist, growing frustrated. “I love you. So fucking much. And I understand where you're coming from. But you see how hard those men love.” I point toward the table. “If they are willing to let Lennox back in, don’t you think they would be over the moon to be having a baby? Yes, you lied and kept things from them, but if you just explained why, I know they would understand.”
“No,” she growls. “I said no. I will tell them when I’m good and ready.”
“When?” I hiss. “When the baby drops out of your vagina and onto the floor? You gonna look down and be like, surprise? Rylee, this isn’t a game. This is real life, okay. And there’s a real baby growing inside you, that you haven’t been going to the doctor for. This isn’t good for you, or that baby.”
“Shut up.” Her voice cracks, as tears spill down her face.
I feel like an asshole. I hate making her upset, and I hate when it’s toward me. All I want to do is love her, care for her, keep her safe and happy, but she’s not making it easy. I’m trying to be understanding, but I just don’t know what else I can do.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do. This is my body, my choice.”
“I can’t do this anymore.” Tears sting the back of my eyes as I feel my heart start to break. “I can’t keep being around these guys, who think the world of you, knowing there's life changing information that I know and they don’t. They deserve respect. I can’t keep lying to them.”
“You can’t tell them.” Her eyes widen, and there's panic in her voice.
“I wouldn’t do that to you, baby.” I give her a sad smile. “As much as it hurts me, I wouldn't betray you like that.”
“Thank you.” She lets out a breath.
“But I also can’t keep going on like this.”
