As I stare down at the girl who’s stolen my heart, and turned my world upside down in the best possible way, I know something's wrong.
Every time I talk about the baby, or make a comment of any kind regarding the subject, she’s quick to shut me down.
I’m not stupid, I know what she’s doing.
She’s in denial. With everything going on in her and the guys’ lives, she doesn’t want to add more to their plate, and I understand that. But pushing it away and pretending it’s not happening isn’t healthy for anyone.
I’m doing my best to care for her, to keep her healthy, and am even slipping prenatal pills into the smoothies I make her every morning.
If I push her, she’s going to shut down more, maybe even have a breakdown. And I won’t be the reason for that. I’ve tried to get her to tell the guys, but she won’t.
She doesn’t want to be the reason they stress out more. But the fact is, there’s a baby coming, and I don’t think they’re going to be too happy to find out that they’ve missed out on the whole pregnancy when she goes into labor one day and they never knew.
I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I respect the guys, and if it was me, I’d want to know. I’d want to be there for her, to help take care of her and the baby.
She hasn’t even gone for a check up since finding out about the baby. She has to be around four months now, at least. Shouldn’t this be the time where the baby is moving?
How couldn’t that be a literal kick of reality? Of what's going on. We should be going for ultrasounds. Making sure the baby is growing and is healthy.
Rylee is still cheering when she probably shouldn’t be. At the very least, she shouldn't be being thrown in the air. I know the guys are good at what they do, but there’s always a chance Rylee can fall and hurt both herself and the baby.
It’s killing me, eating away at my conscience. I’m trying so damn hard, but I feel like it’s not good enough. I’m lost, and I have no one to talk to. Who do I even tell, or ask for advice about this?
Either I push Rylee to tell the guys, to accept the fact she’s pregnant, and risk her hating me for trying to force her hand at something she’s clearly not ready for, or I do what I’ve been doing and we deal with the consequences as they come.
But I hate lying to the guys. I hate knowing something so important when they don’t.
Rylee says it’s going to add to their stress, and yes, that might be true, but even I know these guys would find a way to deal with it, because they love Rylee so much. I know they would make amazing dads, and would love to be a part of every moment of her pregnancy.
The fact is, come the new year, there’s going to be a baby in all our lives. One that’s part her, part them.
Rylee can’t ignore this forever. She just can’t.
And I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do.
Rylee shifts in her sleep, snuggling closer to me, and my heart clenches. “I love you, sweet girl,” I murmur, kissing her forehead. “But you're killing me. I’m trying, baby. I’m trying so hard, but I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.”
Closing my eyes, I try to swallow down the emotion in my throat as we lay there together, in this moment of peace. Just the two of us. If only life could be this simple all of the time.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
As I'm leaving campus, I see Teo, and it’s like I have been hit by a truck.
If only. Wishful thinking, right?No. I can’t think about that.I have a little girl coming soon who needs me.
He’s walking toward the science wing and doesn’t see me watching him.
He looks good, even with a scowl on his face as he pushes past a crowd of freshmen. Fuck, I miss him so much. I miss them all, but my heart aches to just run over to him and have him hold me.
I’m falling apart. It’s getting harder every day to fake that I am okay. Missi and I can’t even be in the same room together without fighting about the baby. She just doesn’t seem to care.
Running away to that safehouse after the baby is born is starting to look better and better. I head for the parking lot after watching Teo leave and find the she-devil herself waiting for me.
“It’s about fucking time. My feet hurt and I want a nap,” she whines and I nod, unlocking the door for her and climbing in. Because Missi won’t listen to her doctor, she is struggling with preeclampsia and swelling.
Her hands, face, and feet have blown up like balloons, but still she fights me on staying home and resting. It’s not like she even needs to be at classes. Her only dream in life is to be a trophy wife. School is just a place she comes to socialize.
Once we're on the road, Missi groans and turns to scrolling through social media on her phone, ignoring me, and my thoughts are on Rylee and the guys.
