It would’ve been a stupid thing to say. Her mom had been a nurse, so she was a nurse. There’d never been a question, really. She looked like her mom, she was named after her mom, and she aspired to be like her mom.
Everyone had loved the original Lily, Lily Marie. The mourners at her funeral had been out the door and spilled onto the sidewalk outside the funeral home. Angel on earth, the minister had called her. For hours, people had sung her mother’s praises.
Lily Ellen, the knock-off Lily, had Lily Marie’s angel-blonde hair and her big blue eyes, her slight build and her naturally soft voice. But she didn’t have her mother’s heart. She wasn’t half the woman her mom had been.
Her dad and brother, however, thought otherwise, and they relied on her to fill the hole her mother’s death had left in the family. So she was faking her way through life, trying to be this serene, healing angel, failing most of the time, and screaming in frustration on the inside.
“They were your happiest times so far,” her father said, wagging a finger at her. His smile was bright, and his light-blue eyes were too, but Lily could still see the loneliness behind them. “There are far happier times to come.”
“For sure,” she replied, though she doubted it. Had it sounded convincing? “Did you save me some tacos, like you said?”
“I did. And before she took Pilar and Pedra on their trip, Rosa finally gave me her precise seasoning blend,” he said. “Ever since I started helping out here, I’ve been asking. I flatter, I flirt?—”
“Don’t you dare flirt! Manny has a baseball bat back here.” She nodded at the bat leaning in the corner within easy reach of anyone behind the bar.
“You’re right,” he replied.
The kitchen doors opened, and Manny came in carrying a large crate of bottles. He must’ve carried them up from the basement, Lily thought. He was sweating and grimacing a little.
Hyram quickly took the heavy crate from Manny and lowered it to the floor behind the bar. “You should’ve let me help,” he said, as he straightened upright again.
Manny stood rooted to the spot, though, and then he bent forward, and kept going, clasping his chest as he fell to the floor.
“He’s having a heart attack!” Hyram cried, grabbing Lily’s arm. “Do something!”
“Me?” she blurted.
“You’re a nurse!”
“Oh, right.” Shit, shit, shit. She crouched beside Manny, rolling him onto his back, opening his shirt, and looking around the place for a defibrillator. Several patrons gathered around, trying to see behind the bar.
“Somebody call 911,” Lily called. “Is there a defibrillator in here?”
“I got it,” said a deep voice. And then the portable defibrillator case was lowered to the floor beside her and she looked up to see the gringo in the sombrero, who gave her a nod and moved to help her father herd the remaining customers out of the building.
“I’ll box up your food and bring it outside,” her dad was telling them. “Please don’t block the way for the ambulance.”
“I’ll see to it,” the gringo said, and he went outside with the rest.
Lily knelt beside Manny, checking for a pulse in his neck and not finding one. Then again, her own heart was pounding so hard her fingertips were throbbing. She attached the leads.
“Okay,” she said. “Okay.” She’d never done this before, never electrocuted a heart back into beating. She powered the device on. The button marked SHOCK was bright red. She moved her finger over it, clenched her jaw, and started to press.
Manny suddenly sucked in a loud, harsh breath, and she jerked her hand away from the button so fast she fell on her backside on the floor. Then she scrambled forward again, her hands going to his shoulders. “Easy, Manny, you’re okay. Help’s on the way.”
She untaped the leads and pushed the case away from her in horror. She’d nearly pressed the button. She’d nearly…
A siren wailed in the distance.
“My chest hurts,” Manny said.
“That’s okay, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”
She’d almost shocked him. God, she’d almost shocked him. If she’d have pressed that button, she could’ve killed him. Trying to help him, she could’ve killed him. And she knew, right then, that she was going to quit her job before she closed her eyes that night.
Her dad and Harrison would be so disappointed in her. She wondered if all the parts of her phony-baloney identity as her mom’s worthy successor would crumble around her feet, now that the avalanche had begun.
Manny clasped her hand. “Rosa can’t manage this place with me laid up in a hospital, Lily.”
