Acting quickly, I rip off my coat and wrap it around her, shielding her from the biting cold as my bare arms grow numb and my heart ices over. “You’re gonna be fine. Stay with me.”
I fumble for my phone, dialing 911.
The dispatcher answers on the second ring. I track our location and spout off a vague address, the surroundings a blur of trees, wreckage, and swirling snow.
She’s breathing. I tell the dispatcher she’s breathing.
She’s talking.
She’s alive.
I’m instructed to stay on the line until help arrives, but the phone slips from my hand as I drape myself over Stevie’s shivering body. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Her leg is contorted. Inhuman. Violent slashes tatter her dress and skin. There’s blood everywhere.
I cup a hand over my mouth and nearly vomit. “You’re fine, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” I ramble through the cracks in my fingers.
I did this.
I fell asleep.
I fucking fell asleep and did this.
I’ll never forgive myself.
Pressure burns behind my eyes, my temples pounding with guilt. My self-destruction became her destruction.
I did this.
“Lex…” She says my name on a choked breath before her whole body heaves and she coughs up blood, scarlet mist spraying across my shirt.
Fuck, fuck,fuck.
Panic debilitates me. I don’t know what to do.
“Stay with me, okay? Just hang on.” I tuck the leather jacket around her with violently shaking hands, wishing for a chance to turn back time, to kiss her and make things right.
I’d kiss her back.
I would.
Fuck my triggers. Fuck it all.
Her eyes fall shut, and the echoes of our performance at the Moulin Rouge pierce through the chaos. Stage lights, vibrant costumes, electric energy; now a distant dream. A cruel contrast to this stark, frozen reality.
Come what may.
A final, poignant promise, so fitting at the time.
I see her as Satine, the glamorous courtesan with a heart full of dreams, performing with such grace and passion that it was almost a different world.
Now she’s ruined.
I broke her.
Dazzling strobes fade from my mind, replaced with flashing red-and-blue lights.
Serenades morph into sirens.
