Severed his trust with one little kiss.
Oh God.
I feel stupid. Utterly dismantled.
“I–I thought… I mean, I felt…something.” Mortification blazes on my cheeks as I back away, away, then farther away until I’m flush against a wall. “I’m really sorry. I just thought this was…more.”
He stabs a hand through his hair. “Fuck,” he grits out, eyes squeezed shut.
Rejection eats at me. It nibbles at my insides like a fast-acting poison. Clearly, I misread everything—our budding connection, the night out on my rooftop when he held my hand, the car he purchased for me, such a priceless gift. Our conversations that felt so real and untainted.
That kiss.
Lex doesn’t see me in that way. I’m his counterpart in a stage performance, an outlet for when he needs to escape his violent household. Nothing more than a friend who just crossed a line she had no business crossing. “I…I’m going to go.”
Hollow eyes bore holes into me. “Shit…I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, blinking away the tortured glaze. “I didn’t mean to freak out on you—” He jumps up from the bed when I scramble for the doorknob. “Stevie, wait. You can’t drive home. You’ve been drinking.”
“I’ll call for a ride.” I haul myself out the doorway and stumble into the hall, a ring of fire burning me on all sides. Tears bite at my eyes, my throat raw andstinging. I weave through the clusters of people, shoving them aside, reaching for my purse and jacket on the wall hook, and fumbling for my cell phone. I feel him behind me, hear him calling my name, but I block it all out and race out the front door, leaving it swinging open on its hinges.
“Stevie!”
I’ll walk home. It’s only a few miles.
Truth be told, I had no intention of drinking tonight—hence driving here myself. But then I realized I needed liquid courage to face Lex, a decision I am now decidedly regretting. I figured I’d catch a ride with someone. Maybe even go home with him.
Stupid.
My feet pick up speed as I swerve onto the sidewalk and glance up. Fat snowflakes flutter from a dark-blue sky, and the chilly December air pricks at my skin as ice tunnels through my lungs.
“Dammit…hold up.” A hand grabs mine, spinning me around. Lex stands before me with snowflakes in his hair and remorse in his eyes. “Let me drive you home.”
I pull my hand free. “I’ll be fine.”
“It’s thirty fucking degrees out. I’m driving you home.” He snatches my hand again and drags me down the sidewalk.
“Lex—please, let me go. I said I’ll be fine. It’s not that far.” My bruised ego is clearly doing the talking; I won’t be fine. It’s freezing, my heart is in shreds, and my tears are turning to icicles on my cheeks. There are alcohol in my system and three-inch heels attached to my already sore feet. “I’ll call my dad to come get me. You don’t need to drive me.”
“I’m driving you.” He refuses to let go of my hand as he stalks forward, pulling me across the street to where my silver sedan sits, already blanketed in a dusting of snow. “Give me your keys.”
My teeth clench against the cold. “Why don’t we just take your car? You can drop me off and drive home. Dad can bring me to get my car tomorrow.”
“I walked here.”
I finally manage to wiggle my hand free from his. Folding my arms across my chest, I trail behind him. “How will you get home?”
“I’ll figure it out. Keys.” He holds out his hand.
Reluctantly, I dig into my purse and pull out the key ring, plopping it into his outstretched palm with more aggression than necessary. Then I stall in the middle of the street, glancing both ways, conflicted and torn. “I’m seriously fine walking—”
He shoves a finger at the vehicle. “Get in.”
Sighing through my misery, I watch my breath fall out in a little white plume before I ungracefully tromp over to the passenger’s side, my boots skidding in the inch of snow. When I’m tucked inside, I slam the door. It’s a reprieve from the stone-cold wind but not from the shame coursing through me. I press both hands to my cheeks and try not to unravel.
Lex hops in beside me and starts the car, the engine purring to life. Headlights blare, illuminating what would normally be a magical wintry backdrop. Flakes spill from the sky in a delicate dance and transform the world into a frosted wonderland.
But my emotions are punching holes in it all, so I set my jaw as Lex leans back and scrubs both hands over his face.
Silence washes over us as warmth spills from the air vents. My limbs tremble, my tears still threatening to overflow.
