Dissociate, dammit.
“Such a shame. Not that we’re opposed to having you here.”
She grins in a way that invokes a landslide of memories. All I can feel is her hand on my arm. Still squeezing, stroking, appreciating something not meant for her.
Bianca’s eyes flash across my vision—deep brown with hints of gold, a deceptive sunny glimmer that masks true darkness.
I trusted her.
She was like a mother to me.
I fucking trusted her.
Natalie’s mother sighs, closing in on my flimsy bubble. “You’re very handsome, you know. It’s no wonder all the girls are smitten.” Her head slopes as she bites her lip. “It’s a pity I’m too old for you.”
A jolt of panic stabs me. She’s got to be in her midforties, over double my age. Queasiness sinks into my gut as I lurch back, disengaging from her touch like she’s a live wire.
“Oh…my apologies.” The woman flinches, pulls away, her long lashes fluttering with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to be so bold.”
My skin feels like it’s crawling with a swarm of stinging nettles. I want to claw the feeling out of me, jump under a scorching stream of water until the blisters cleanse away the itch.
I fucking hate this.
Even as a little kid, it was only ever about my looks. My face, my hair, my pretty blue eyes, my bone structure. I could own a scene, command a room like a damn virtuoso, but all I’d ever get in return was “He looked so good doing it.”
I’m nothing but a mannequin in a store window.
Natalie’s mother backs away, fluffing her hair and smoothing out her champagne dress.
And I nearly put my fist through the next person who touches me.
Warm fingers tangle with mine before I’ve fully managed to compose myself, followed by a slight tug. Whirling around, I’m this close to combusting when I come face-to-face with green eyes and a brilliant smile.
Stevie.
Fuck—it’s Stevie.
I deflate like a popped balloon and squeeze her hand as though she’s my only lifeline.
She holds a tumbler of pink liquid, likely filled with booze. Her smile slips as she studies me hard. “What’s wrong?”
I part my lips to speak, but all I can offer is a stiff headshake.
I feel like a fucking freak show.
Teetering slightly, Stevie unlinks our fingers and wraps her hand around my wrist, guiding me away. “Come on.”
As the adrenaline peters out, my eyes close with relief. My heartbeats slow toa steady pace, and I blindly follow her down one of the endless hallways into a quiet room where I can shake off the last five minutes and let the tension drain from my useless body.
She can’t see me like this.
I need to keep going, keep pretending.
I’ll keep acting the part until I finally land my dream role:
Peace.
Chapter 15
