“Thank you. I really appreciate that.” As I shake his hand, my eyes trail to the left, catching sight of Lex as he whizzes by, newly dressed in his casual clothes. “Excuse me,” I murmur, pulling away from Mr. Hamlin and beelining toward Lex. “Hey. Wait up.”
He stops, spinning to face me as he skims a hand through his hair. “Hey.”
“Hi.” The moment our eyes meet, my skin warms with memory, imagining his lips on mine and his tongue in my mouth. “So I’m going to that party tonight. Are you sure you don’t want to tag along?”
He stares at me wordlessly.
He looks so tired. Drained of all his light.
“I mean, if you’re too tired, I get it. But it might be fun.” I gaze up at him, fiddling with a button on my streamlined dress.
Jaw tense, he rolls his gaze over me, blinking a few times when our eyes lock back together. “You’re still going?”
“Yeah. I’m not usually big on parties, but I figured this was kind of a big deal, you know?”
Lex swallows. “Okay. Sure.”
My heartbeats amp up, drumming symphonies in my chest. I want to spend more time with him, talk to him about the show, ask him why he kissed me like he was lovesick and starved. “Really?”
“Are you staying long?”
I shrug. “Probably not. I’m beat.”
“Yeah…all right.” He clears his throat, frowning slightly. “Good.”
We hold contact for longer than my lungs can hold on to my breath. I wonder if he can tell that I’m a mess of questions, torment, and feelings. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire, my hands shaky as I link them behind my back. “Great. I’ll…um…see you there.”
He nods, glancing down at his boots. “Yep.”
I watch him walk away.
The first performance is over.
We did it.
But something tells me a new dance is about to begin.
Chapter 14
Lex
I’m late. It’s been hours since the show ended. Hours before I was able to force myself to walk over to another shallow mansion a few blocks away from my house, even though this is the last place I want to be.
But she said she’d be here.
I glance around the expanse of the crowded estate as new age music pours from giant speakers and classmates guzzle down room-temperature beer. I haven’t slept more than an hour or two in four days, always going, going, going, putting every ounce of myself into rehearsals and practices. The only way I can stomach being here is by stepping out of my own body. It’s just a meat suit. A disguise.
I thought maybe this party would be a reprieve, as it’s often the quiet moments that throw me off-balance. I crave noise, the steady thrum of chaos. Bright lights, booming voices, rapid-fire motion. That’s what keeps me from stumbling off a steep ledge and splattering across concrete.
But I should have known this wasn’t what I needed.
It’stooloud.
Too crowded.
Too…triggering.
My wild eyes bounce from face to face in search of Stevie. The one girl in the world who sees past the holes in my smile and the ghosts in my eyes.
