I recognize the sweep of his shoulders, the tousle of hair, so I’m not afraid. “What are you doing here?”
Lex steps forward. His face is painted in amber lowlight spilling from my bedroom window. “You told me you come out here at night to look at the stars.”
“Yes,” I confirm. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”
He looks away for a moment, over his shoulder, like he’s making sure nobody followed him here. When he turns back to face me, he rakes a hand through his hair and shrugs. “You said I could join you if I couldn’t sleep.”
That was before.
Before he funneled his pain into anger and hurled it at me with the force of a dozen men.
But the look in his eyes has me softening. The bruise on his face has me forgetting. “There’s a ladder on the side of the house.”
Lex doesn’t waste any time fetching the ladder, positioning it against the corroded siding, and making the trek up to the roof. The rungs creak with each clunky step, the ladder wobbling precariously and causing my heart to stammer. “Be careful,” I whisper.
I don’t think Lex is a careful person. I think he’s reckless and impulsive, so it doesn’t surprise me that he ignores my warning and quickens his pace.
When he reaches the top, my pulse settles, and a relieved breath skims my lips. “You know, you can always text me when you want to come over.”
Taking a seat beside me until our shoulders meld together, Lex sends me a quick glance. “I never really know what I plan to do until I do it.”
“That tracks.”
“Have you been sitting out here all night?”
I shake my head. “No. I usually fall asleep right away, but then I wake up in the middle of the night. It’s instinct, I think. Something happened…” Swallowing, I realize I’m about to confess things to him that I might regret one day. “Something happened a long time ago…and ever since, I’ve been scared to sleep through the night. It’s like my body forces me awake, reminding me that I’m okay. That I’m still alive.”
Lex goes quiet as the crisp night air blows kisses on our faces. His arm is warm, pressing against mine. “What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay,” he says.
We sit like that for a while, shoulder to shoulder, the stars reflecting on all sides of us like we’re trapped inside a midnight globe.
“Hey, um…” He fidgets beside me, messing with his disheveled hair. “About the other day at my house—”
“I accept your apology.”
A few seconds of silence stretch, accompanying the stillness of the night.
He turns to look at me, and the hazy filter over his eyes dissipates. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t mean it,” he says, averting his gaze so I can’t see the truth.
But I already saw it: relief.
“I mean it.” I glance down at my teal pajama set, picking at the worn fringe. “You’ll start to realize that I never say things I don’t mean.”
He falters. “What’s that like?”
“Freeing,” I reply. “You should try it some time.”
We share a glance.
Lex nods, his gaze drifting to my hands, tangled in the hem of my shirt. “All right,” he mutters, clearing his throat. “My father is a piece of shit. Mean, selfish, short-tempered. He’s like this unstoppable hurricane, ripping apart anything in his path. I’ve never understood why my mother stays. Maybe for the extra paychecks rolling in, or maybe it’s because she doesn’t know how to leave.” He sighs. “He’s a defense attorney, always investing in high-profile cases and clients that boost his reputation. But he’s never once invested in the things that matter.” Lex pauses, staring out at the dappled skyline, looking lost and haunted. “Us.”
I can’t relate to that.
But I can relate to his pain, so I extend my hand and place it on top of his.
