Frowning, I take it, sparing him a quick glance as he nods at me.
“Finish it,” he says.
When Stevie opens her eyes again, they’re filled with resigned sadness. She stares at me like I’m her counterpart, her costar.
I clear the hitch from my throat, skimming over the next line, the papers crumpled in my hand. “I could have saved you. If you’d just stayed, if you tried, I could have—”
“I didn’t want to be saved!” she shouts back, tone pitching louder, arms extending at her sides. “Don’t you get it? I didn’t think Ideservedto be saved. Not by anyone…but especially not by you.”
The air changes, swells, her words pulling me under.
“I thought if I stayed, if I let you help me…” She trails off, biting her lip, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “You’d see what I saw in myself. Someone unworthy. Someone rotten. And I couldn’t bear it.”
Her voice falters, and I feel the thorns stabbing me on all sides. The script in my hand feels insignificant. I don’t need it. I never did. “You were never unworthy, Debra. I did see you, and I loved you with everything I had, everything I am, and that was enough.” Genuine emotion snags in my throat. An elasticband of grief. “It was always enough.”
“That’s because you never looked deeper,” she counters, shaking her head, her pain quieting to soft melancholy. “If you had, you would have seen the broken, scattered parts of me. Everything I tried so hard to hide. And you’d leave anyway.” Her jaw hardens, eyes shimmering against the muted light as she stares at me, echoing my internal struggle. “So I did it for you—to saveyoufrom the inevitable disappointment that wasme. It was easier that way. It was safer.”
My breath falls out, slow and stuttered. She’s incredible. She’s everything I thought I was saving her from—strong, vulnerable, real. And here I am, standing on the sidelines, watching her speak the truth I’ve been too much of a coward to face.
I disappeared like a lonely, misguided ghost, believing I wasn’t meant for the place I’d been wandering in.
“But I’m here now,” she croaks, chewing on her lip. “For what it’s worth…I’m here. That counts, right?” A tear slips loose. “It counts for something. It counts because…it has to.”
Her voice barely makes it through the last line. I hear the tremble in it, the weight of the confession.
Maverick shifts beside me, a spark of recognition in his eyes. I know he feels it—the electricity, the authenticity radiating from her.
“Cut,” he finally calls out, breaking the spell. “That was fantastic, Stevie.”
She blinks away the daze, her eyes never leaving my face. “Really?”
“Fuck, yes. Really.”
A small smile blooms as she searches for my reaction. I watch as she wipes the stray tear from her cheek, looking fidgety, unsure, the character draining from her eyes.
Swallowing, I slide a hand into my pocket and give her a terse nod. “Nice job.”
She blinks at me. The smile fades a fraction. “Thanks.”
I zone out as Maverick and Stevie shake hands, he gives her his card, and he tells her he’ll be in touch. He will be. She’s got the part.
Giving Maverick a wave over my shoulder, I link my arm with Stevie’s, and we push out through the main doors. Silence swells between us as I pull outmy pack of Camels and give the box a shake. Afternoon sunshine warms my skin, and I readjust my baseball cap before drawing a cigarette from the box.
“Um…” Stevie clears her throat, releasing her arm from mine. “Did I do okay?”
“Yep.”
“You don’t seem particularly impressed.” Her arms fold across her coral-pink blouse as she tips her face to the sky. “I guess I could have done a little more with it. Went deeper. Maybe I’m not cut out for—”
“You were fucking brilliant, Stevie.” I pop the cigarette between my lips, curl a hand around the tip, and flick my lighter. “No notes.”
“Okay.” We dally just outside the doors, both of us leaning back against the brick. “Thank you.”
“How do you feel?”
A small shrug. “Good, I guess. It was cathartic performing again, even though it wasn’t anything like what I’m used to. No dancing, no singing…no magic.”
“Auditions always feel a little stiff.” I send her a glance, tucking the cigarette in the corner of my mouth and watching smoke filter up to the clear blue sky. “You’ll be getting a call soon.”
