“Did you ever think about what your wedding would be like?” Lindsey asked wistfully.
“Well, yes,” Jane conceded. “I hate myself for it, but yes.”
“Don’t hate on yourself!”
“Self-hatred in moderation is actually a good thing.”
Lindsey looked horrified. “What?! You are joking, aren’t you?”
“Don’t you think people who love themselves too much become complacent? When you’re self-satisfied, there’s no motivation to strive for improvement.”
“Trust me, that’s not how it works. Don’t forget, I’m practically a licensed therapist. I mean, if I ever finish school, it’s a lot. Anyway, I’m here to tell you, you’re much too hard on yourself!”
Tell me something I don’t know, Jane thought.
“Like you said, it’s cart-before-horse, and really—what are the essentials of a wedding? Two people and an officiant. Anyway, I won’t have to worry about one anytime soon.”
“Are things okay with Teddy, though?”
Jane sprinkled some salt onto her twenty-five-dollar salad. “We’re getting through the holidays together, no pressure, no labels, just being with each other, and it’s been good. He’s still crashing with his friend Keith, we’re both seeing other people, so we have space to figure things out.”
“That’s great. I am sure you will end up in the right place.”
Lindsey might become an enabling therapist, but she would make her clients feel good, and that was something.
“Let’s hope.”
“I’m trying to avoid my bad habits with Jesús, you know, being the caretaker. But then, I like being the caretaker! Maybe that’s why I usually go for slightly broken guys.”
“What’s broken about Jesús?” Jane asked.
“He’s in recovery. It’s been almost two years sober and it’s hard for him, especially trying to be a musician and staying away from drugs and alcohol. He has a lot of strength, actually. But he also needs a lot of support.”
Everyone was broken in some way, Jane thought. She felt as if she’d been broken, shattered even.
She wondered if Teddy was broken and needed a lot of her support. And then she wondered if she ever had really given him any at all.
They finished lunch and returned to Maggie’s house. She was on the phone. It was, in fact, possible that she had been on the phone with the same client the entire time they were away. She was trying to explain the price of a buyout at the Four Seasons on the Big Island of Hawai‘i.
“If you want to keep the budget under two million dollars, we’ll need to look at other options.... Listen, I like to think I can make any venue spectacular, any wedding unforgettable.... Don’t worry, really, talk to your parents and see what they’re willing to do. It’s going to be great no matter what!”
Maggie finally hung up.
“Sometimes these billionaires are so cheap, it’s really something,” she remarked, then emitted the rueful laugh.
“Oh, we’ve seen that up close and personal,” Jane concurred.
“And entitled. They think throwing money at any problem will solve it. Well, sorry, but if the Four Seasons is booked up for two years, they aren’t going to drop someone to accommodate you, no matter who you are.”
“True that!” Lindsey chirped.
Jane was label-making at an unprecedented pace. She was terrified Maggie would implode if she couldn’t find a file. It was close to winter solstice, so the sun went down early, and the house felt like a giant refrigerator. Jane felt the chill in her bones.
They were working in Maggie’s inner sanctum, her bedroom/office, when she rushed in, looking somewhere between beleaguered and panicked.
“Hey, are you pretty much done? It’s fine if you leave early.”
“We’re making great progress—a little more to do, and then we still have an hour of time left,” Jane replied.
