As flighty as she seemed, Kelsey never missed a beat.
“I did briefly, but it wasn’t for me.”
Kelsey nodded in assent. “Yeah, it’s all one big shark tank. I even hate my agent, she is such a twat!”
“That word is so ugly.”
“I know, but she even cops to it. She’s all ‘I know I am a total twat, but that’s what you have to become to deal with all these cocksuckers.’ ”
“How glad I am to not be dealing with all of that anymore.”
“Instead you are dealing with me!” Kelsey proclaimed with glee.
“But I like dealing with you, Kelsey. I mean, especially compared to all those cocksuckers.”
Kelsey giggled with delight. This was all weirdly liberating. But still, there was a job to do.
“I’ll get started now and then make a run to The Container Store—they have all kinds of products that are really good for organizing cosmetics and jewelry.”
“The more we can get done before the kids get here the better. They won’t be home until four today; sports and playdates, all that.”
“A ticking clock is good, it’s motivating.”
Kelsey sighed. “I probably have two hundred lipsticks.”
“You’re about to own far fewer. We’ll toss the ones you never use.”
“Sounds like a plan!” As Kelsey walked off, she added, “God I love you, Jane, I need you to move in with me and organize my whole life!”
“Oh, please, if I did, you would so regret it.”
Jane scanned the open drawers. Heaps of cosmetics piled atop other heaps of cosmetics.
Memories of makeup. When she was fourteen and about to begin her freshman year of high school, Jane and her mother had gone to Macy’s for back-to-school clothes, an inherently fraught outing.
As they passed through the cosmetics section, a saleswoman (her name tag saidBRENDA) approached and asked if they wanted makeovers. Jane—who at that time desperately wanted a makeover of practically everything in her life—jumped at the chance before her mother could weigh in.
Brenda painted Jane’s face with amazing speed while conducting a running commentary: “You have deep-set eyes, so you really need to bring them out. It’s very easy to improve your lip line, and some highlights will really help with the shape of your nose.”
When she was done, Brenda pronounced Jane “absolutely gorgeous!”
Jane looked into the mirror and almost gasped. Brenda had a very heavy hand. The effect was overly dramatic. It was like wearing a mask. Like hiding. She looked over to her mother.
“You look lovely, Jane,” she commented quietly.
Ten minutes later, as they headed toward the car, her mother hissed, “You look like a cheap hooker.”
Jane would never again seek out a makeover, so today, when Kelsey offered to give her one, she surprised herself by allowing it.
“Okay, but I like to keep it simple,” she told Kelsey.
“Of course you do,” Kelsey said as she began scanning her bottles and tubes. “Let me play a bit. I’ve worked with so many makeup artists and picked up a lot of knowledge along the way.”
She went to work, chattering all the while: “Oooh you have the prettiest eyes.... I am so jealous of your cheekbones.... Your lips are like that without filler, really? Lucky you.... You even have a perfect hairline!”
Finally, Kelsey declared, “Okay done—oh my god, you look soooo good! I’m exhausted. I need a Nespresso, you want one?”
“I’m fine.”
