“Same,” Jane said, raising her wine glass in assent.
“Well, where are you with Teddy?”
“I don’t know. It’s really frustrating. He has such a big heart, but he’s so immature.”
“Men are less evolved, but that’s kind of what makes them endearing. They need us.”
“I want a partner, not a child.”
Anna took a hearty swig of her rosé. “I want both—just not in the same person!”
“Maybe I don’t want a partnerora child. It’s too much work.” Jane wondered if she sounded resigned or depressed.
“A relationship requires work but should notbework.”
“Exactly. And sometimes I worry I make Teddy feel like he’s a loser, and then I feel terrible.”
“Do you think he’s a loser?”
“Of course not! It’s only that we’re so different in how we approach things, and he doesn’t seem to have much ambition or drive. He’s just... happy!”
“Well that’s annoying.”
“It can be! And then when I try to encourage him, I guess sometimes it can come out as criticism...”
“Men have really fragile egos. We’re much tougher. You have to remember that. And they’re all freaking out because the modern world plays to women’s strengths more than men’s.”
“That’s a pretty sweeping statement.”
“Yeah, and you know exactly what I mean by it and that it’s true,” Anna said, nodding for emphasis. “Anyway, Teddy isn’t perfect, but who is?”
Jane pensively rolled an olive in her fingers. “I suppose no one. I certainly never will be... which is infuriating.”
“Ha! Jane, maybe you should try to relax, to let go of some—or even all—of your impossible expectations.”
“So lower my too-high standards?”
“Yes! For everyone, especially for yourself. You don’t need to have a spreadsheet of your life... it’s not helpful, is it?”
“I don’t keep an actual spreadsheet, Anna.”
“I know, but why not just let things happen and try to enjoy them?”
Jane kneaded her cloth napkin like a mini security blanket.
“I am trying!”
“Try harder! You are so smart and funny but, god, you are like the most tightly wound person I know.”
Their server swept by, placing a focaccia on the table. Jane eyed it, deliberated, then reached for a piece.
“I really am trying, Anna. I’m just not good at it. I constantly disappoint myself.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, Jane. And that’s one reason why you’re so hard on other people.”
Jane took a bite of the warm, pillowy bread. “I don’t know....”
“...but I do,” Anna said briskly. “Maybe if you cut yourself some slack, it’d be easier to cut other people slack.”
