“But her family deserves to know,” Lorna had argued.
“Are you trying to get your sister arrested?” her mother had fired back.
“I’m trying to tell the truth,” Lorna had said weakly.
Mrs. Tracy suddenly burst into tears. Bean leaped to his feet and came forward. He grabbed Mrs. Tracy’s hand. “Don’t cry,” he said.
Mrs. Tracy swiped at her face. “Is that really true?” she asked Lorna. “Or is this some sick joke?”
“No!” Lorna shook her head. “It’s true. I wanted to tell you then, but my mother was worried about my sister. That she would be... held accountable.” She swallowed down a lump of shame.
Mrs. Tracy looked heavenward. “I’ve always resented the two girls who lived.” She dipped down, picked up the chewed plastic piece of some toy, and threw it. The puppy chased after it. “It wasn’t fair that they got to live but Nicole had to die. And now you’re telling me one of themgaveher the drugs?”
“If it’s any consolation, my sister never really lived after that either,” Lorna said softly. It had been the beginning of the end, really. Kristen fell off her wagon and never got back on.
Mrs. Tracy snorted. “That is no consolation. It’s infuriating. Because she is still alive.” Her tears started again. “Why did you come here? Why did you have to bring this into my life today?” She began to sob. Bean threw his arms around her waist and pressed the side of his face to her. She bent over him, crying.
“I wanted you to know the truth.”
Mrs. Tracy somehow got hold of herself and straightened up. Her face was red and puffy from sobbing. “You’re a very selfish woman. I don’t know what kicks you get out of this, but you’ve ruined my life all over again.”
Two tears slipped from the corners of Lorna’s eyes. She had never meant to cause such pain. She’d wanted to give Mrs. Tracy something to hold on to. “Nicole was not a drug user.”
“Don’t say her name,” Mrs. Tracy said bitterly. “You don’t deserve to say her name.” She dislodged Bean from her. “Pepper!” she called. She looked at Lorna. “Never come here again.” She turned, walking unevenly to her house.
The puppy raced by them, tripping over his big feet, then scrambling up the two steps to the porch behind Mrs. Tracy.
Lorna’s heart was racing so wildly that she thought she might pass out. What had she done? The woman’s pain gripped Lorna like a vise, making her work for every breath. What was it doing to Mrs. Tracy? Lorna had reignited a mother’s deep grief, and the only thing she could hope for was that one day, Mrs. Tracy would appreciate knowing what really happened. She’d spent all those years thinking she didn’t know her own daughter. Did it matter that she knew the truth now?
Did it matter that Lorna had always known the truth about the accident? It didn’t change anything.
None of this had changed anything.
There was no going back.
She bent down and picked up the chewed piece of plastic. “Come on, Bean,” she said quietly.
Bean slipped his hand into hers. They walked in silence to the car. In the car, Bean looked out the window to the house, as if expecting Mrs. Tracy or the puppy to come out the door. “Sometimes people just hurt too much,” he said.
“Yeah,” Lorna agreed. She hurt too much a lot of the time.
“I was really sad when my mom died,” Bean said. “It hurt really bad.”
“I was really sad when my mom died too.” And she’d hurt too much when Kristen went to Florida.
Bean turned toward her. “Your sister is bad, isn’t she?”
Lorna released a soft, shaky sigh. “She’s not bad. She’s...” Heaven help her if she could think of a word for what Kristen was.Broken.“She’s damaged, I guess.”
Bean looked out the window again.
Lorna wished she and her mother could have been truthful about Kristen when Nicole died, instead of being too fearful of consequences or too proud to say the truth out loud. Mom had been worried about Kristen, but it wasn’t fair that Mrs. Tracy had suffered because of Mom’s fear. It wasn’t right.
She started the car. “Let’s go get some dessert.”
“I’m not hungry,” Bean muttered, and he looked down at his lap.
Great. She’d reignited his grief too.
