They went into the kitchen, and she gave Bean some apple slices to munch while she got out the cake mix and a can of frosting she’d bought today.
When Bean had finished his snack, she gave him a bowl and the ingredients to mix the batter for the cupcakes.
“You can get a new best friend,” he suggested, like they were still talking about it. “You could even be friends with your old best friend now, maybe! Dad says Diego and I might be best friends all our lives if we call each other on the phone.”
“Funny you should mention it. I’m trying to find her,” Lorna admitted. “I want to tell her I’m sorry for something.”
“Dad says sometimes friends say things they wish they didn’t say. And sometimes it’s hard to be a friend when someone says something mean to you. And sometimes maybe you weren’t meant to be friends.”
It sounded like maybe Seth had been hanging out with Micah. “And sometimes it’s hard to admit you were wrong,” she added. “Callie was the best friend I’ve ever had.” Oh how she regretted her cowardice now. She’d been so embarrassed, so humiliated.I hate myself.“She might not want to be friends, you know.”
There was that negative thought again, dancing around her, daring her to banish it.
What was odd was that her mother seemed to regret her cowardice too. Why else would she have put Callie on the list? Had she not been just as humiliated as Lorna? Whatever her reason, her mother was right to list Callie. At the very least,Lorna wanted to apologize for putting Callie’s family in that position. She needed to, so that she could forgive her thirteen-year-old self.
“She will,” Bean said confidently.
Ah, to be eight again and believe the best of everything.
The cupcakes turned out okay, but there were a couple of lumps of batter that had not been completely mixed. Bean made his notes and gave the effort a six. They were more of a one for Lorna, but she kept that opinion to herself. When Seth showed up to fetch Bean, she shoved the cupcakes at him.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said. “You’re really too kind.”
Lorna stiffened a little.Kindwas not a word she would ever ascribe to herself. “It’s nothing,” she said, her gaze on the cupcakes.
“Well, it’s something to Bean. It’s something to me.” Seth glanced over his shoulder at his kid, who was leaning up against their apartment door. When his gaze settled back on her, she could see the regard in his eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at her like that. “Thanks again, Lorna. You’ve been a lifesaver. Same time tomorrow?”
“Yep.” She shut the door. And then opened it. “Aggie,” she said, and her dog trotted back from Bean’s side to her. Seth lifted his hand in a bit of a wave. Lorna did too. And she was smiling.
She wasn’t hungry after the taste testing. She pulled out her laptop to stalk Deb and see what was going on at work. But when she opened it, a message from Callie popped up, and her heart seized.
Hi, Lorna. Surprised to hear from you after all this time. What’s up?
Lorna slammed her laptop shut and gulped air. She hadn’t expected Callie to respond. She’d expected Callie to ignore the message, to roll her eyes and tell whoever she was with now that some crazy chick from the eighth grade was reaching out. But Callie had answered her.
She gingerly opened the laptop again. It was still there, the message from Callie, with a little green dot that indicated Callie was using the app. Did the tone sound accusatory?After all this time.Was she making a dig? Or did she simply mean it had been a long time?
“No,” Lorna said to herself. She refused to allow herself to spiral into an epic level of self-doubt. Before she lost her nerve, she fired back,I would like to see you again.That was it, the whole truth.
Callie immediately replied.Why?
That sounded resistant. If she were open to it, Callie would have saidI would love thatorWhen?But Lorna had come this far, and if she didn’t continue, she would hyperventilate her way into dry heaves and then a never-ending litany of whys and what-ifs. What should she say? That she missed her? That she wanted to apologize? That she was trying to right her little ship before it completely capsized, and to do that, she had to apologize for having been a terrible friend? What was it Deb always said?Short, sweet, and straightforward.
I’m not asking for anything other than a quick meeting. I need to tell you something.
You can’t tell me now?Callie responded.
Did Callie hate her? She did, didn’t she? Lorna could feel it. Okay, but even if that was true, the purpose of this was not to stop Callie from hating her. It was to lift a burden Lorna had put on herself for thirty damn years.I’d rather say it in person, if that works for you. I promise not to keep you or get all weird.
She hits Send and then waited. The moments ticked by. She pictured thirteen-year-old Callie, her red hair spilling around her shoulders, her brow furrowed in thought, considering if she wanted to see Lorna Lott again. And Lorna felt seventeen again, like she was standing in the wings of the gym, waiting tosee if she made the volleyball team, her entire life worth riding on it.
Okay, Callie wrote back.But it has to be tomorrow. We’re going on vacation the day after.
Tomorrow! Tomorrow? Lorna barely had time to get her thoughts together, to decide what to wear, what to say. Where the hell was Kristen when she really needed her?
Thank you. Where should I meet you?
Are you still in Austin? Come to the house after work tomorrow, Callie wrote, and sent her the address in Pflugerville.
