All she knew was that she had retreated into her bomb shelter and slammed the door shut.
“I’ve got a fresh batch of iced tea. Let’s sit on the patio, and I want to hear about all that you’ve been up to. Do you still like cookies? You’re so trim, Lorna! How did you manage it? I should take a page out of your book. You sit here, and I’ll be right back.”
There was no page in Lorna’s weight-loss book other than the one about stress. She’d figured out a long time ago that she was a Big Girl and had stopped trying to fit the mold of what society considered beautiful. That was Kristen’s job—she’d been the beauty. For a while, anyway.
Peggy was back in a few minutes with her plastic pineapple-print serving tray. She had two large glasses of tea, a caddy ofsugars, and a plate of cookies. Lorna took a cookie.Peanut butter. To die for.“I noticed you’ve got some kids here now,” Lorna said as she munched on the cookie. “Grandkids?”
“Heavens, no. My son is just as recalcitrant about relationships as he ever was and refuses to give me grandchildren. He lives in London now. Isn’t that wonderful? Imagine, driving by Buckingham Palace on your way to work every day. But never mind him. How are you, Lolo?”
“Umm...” Lorna put down her half-eaten cookie and wiped her hands quite rudely on her pants. She didn’t know how to answer Peggy’s question. Or rather, where to start. “I’m... fine,” she said tentatively. “I’m...” Her voice trailed off—she wanted to express herself but didn’t really know how.
“You know,” Peggy said, “I always knew you’d come.”
Lorna’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”
“Oh, sure,” Peggy said with a determined nod. “I didn’t know when, but I knew you’d be here. These things, you know, they take as long as they take.”
Lorna wondered what “these things” meant to Peggy. She was only now working out what they were for herself.
“Your mother loved you so much, Lolo.”
“Oh. Okay, we’re going straight there,” Lorna said, feeling suddenly uneasy. She’d never questioned her mother’s love for her. But she had questioned how much her motherlikedher. There had been times it felt as though she didn’t like Lorna at all.
“She might not have always made the right decisions, but she tried to do her best before she left this earth,” Peggy continued. “That’s what mothers do. They make the hard decisions for their kids.”
Why was she telling her this? “Okay,” Lorna said, trying tosound light. But then she felt the terrible trickle of a tear sliding down her cheek.
“She wanted you to be happy, and I know how she worried that regrets would eat you alive. She really wanted to help you let go of those regrets.”
Yeah, yeah.She’d heard it all from Mom. “I know,” Lorna said, and shakily wiped a finger beneath her eye.
“Good heavens, listen to me, going on about something you’ve obviously thought long and hard about. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t, would you?”
Lorna sniffed and tried desperately to will away more tears. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t need the trust money. She hadn’t come to admit her mother was right about anything. “I guess?” she said, because it would be great if they could get this over with.
“Wonderful.” Peggy brightened a little. “How is Kristen?”
Lorna’s belly did the sickly little ripple she felt anytime someone mentioned her sister. “I’m not sure,” she answered truthfully. “She’s in Florida with my dad.”
Peggy nodded. Curiosity was practically oozing out of her.
“We’re not speaking.”
“Oh, I hate to hear that,” Peggy said. “You two were once so close.”
“A very long time ago.”
“Well, I’m glad your father finally stepped up to the plate.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Lorna said. “It was more like he didn’t have a choice this time. I mean, with Mom gone.”
“It’s all been so hard for you, Lolo,” Peggy said kindly.
Another tear slipped from captivity. “Nope. Not hard.” She’d been happy to let her father take on the burden of Kristen for once. Hadn’t she? Hadn’t she been relieved when they’d leftAustin, taking all the family dysfunction with them at long last? She glanced away, checked out the four birdhouses hanging from a tree limb, and swiped under her eyes again. The birdhouses looked unused.
“It’s all right,” Peggy said, and leaned forward to pat Lorna’s knee. “I know how hard it is for you to do emotion.”
Doemotion? What did that mean? She did emotion. She did it all the time. She was doing it this very second. She was a walking cauldron of boiling emotions, a gristmill, a factory, a cargo hold full of emotion. She just didn’t show it on the outside because she had too much of it, and if she showed how she really felt, she’d come across like a monster. Probably people would consider calling the cops. Primal screams didn’t go over well in public. “I don’t... know what to say to that.”
