Lorna didn’t believe that for a minute, but she was coming back. Just as soon as she returned from Florida.
Montreal was there to greet her on the way in. “Yoga today?”
“Absolutely,” Lorna said.
Montreal smiled as he escorted her to the yoga studio. “You know, when I advised you to lean into those yoga pants, I didn’t really believe it was possible. Are you going to keep up your practice?”
“Youwere surprised? Imagine my shock and awe. Yes, I am going to keep up with my practice. I pass a yoga studio on the way to work.”
Montreal laughed. “Lorna, that is awesome.”
After yoga and morning meditation, Lorna met Montreal so that he could escort her to Micah’s office.
“I like what you’re doing with your hair,” he said.
“What, letting it go au naturel?”
“It’s fun,” he said. “Curly and wild. Kind of like you. I like it.”
Lorna was far too delighted with the compliment. “Do you really think I am curly and wild?”
They had reached Micah’s door. Montreal put his hand on her arm. “I think you are curly and wild and amazing.” He opened the door to Micah’s office.
“Lorna!” Micah called. He was in silky green lounge pants and a Bon Jovi T-shirt today, and his long locks were piled atop his head in a towering bun. He held up a cup of lavender tea for her. “Graduation day,” he said.
“Yep.” She took the tea and sank gracefully onto the beanbag. She’d been practicing at home with Bean. “May I say something?”
“The floor is yours.”
“When you said I was grieving, I was angry with you. I didn’t realize that I was grieving, but I do now.”
Micah smiled. “No apology is necessary. It’s not uncommon to dislike observations. And no one likes to grieve. Many people spend years denying grief. So now that you’ve completed your list, how do you feel about your month here?”
“That’s the other thing I was going to tell you. I’m not quite done with the list.”
“No?” He looked confused and took a file from his desk.
“It’s not in there. I have one last stop on the apology tour. And it’s a whopper.”
Micah looked up. “Tell me.”
“I’m going to see Kristen. And... I’m going so that I can forgive her. And then see if she can forgive me. If she’s capable. I mean, cognitively.”
“Wow,” Micah said, and slowly put her file aside. “I don’t think we have enough time to tackle this one.”
“It’s okay. I think I can handle it with my new coping skills. Although, it is entirely possible that I am being very stupid and about to undo everything I’ve worked for in here.”
Micah chuckled. “There is a very thin line between stupidity and bravery, you know, but I’m banking on this being bravery. Just remember you’ve spent a month looking at the roots of your dysfunction and working to put yourself in a healthy mindset.”
“My dysfunction?” Lorna smiled sheepishly. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
“Well... your isolation and loneliness were dysfunctional, were they not? You have found ways to come out of your shell and let negative thoughts go. If you feel yourself getting tense or angry when you see your sister, remember some of those techniques to tap into your thoughts and change the trajectory.”
“Right,” she said.
“And remember that when you let go of the past and negative thoughts, you are open to healthier and newer experiences. The relationship you had with your sister does not have to be the relationship you have now. What she represented to you when it was a healthy relationship is still there. You might find a way forward that is new and different.”
She thought of Bean. Of Seth. Of Martin and Liz, all of whom she now considered friends. And when it came to Seth, well, she hoped for more. “So... it’s like if I can find a way to feel completely safe, even when I’m gruff and crotchety, I can let the past go.”
