Tishaturns to face me."Okay. So now we know what's wrong. How do we fix it so you don't lose yourstartingspot to Jackie? I love the girl and she's gotgame, but this is your time. You know I back you a hundred percent."
I blow out a breath. This isTishamy mentor speaking, narrowing in on my weaknesses and finding a way to turn them into strengths. Unfortunately, this isn't something she can drill out of me, and I tell her as much. She dismisses my comment with a wave of her hand."Bull. This is a crisis of confidence. You're letting that worm into your head."
"I can't believe I actually thought he was going to propose to me,"I scoff."Instead of an engagement ring for Christmas, I get a 'Youcaremore about your lacrosse career than our future' lecture and boom–five months later, he's marrying my cousin. He knewRaniaand I despised each other. How much she tortured me."I don't voice my suspicion about this thing withRaniabeing a catalyst for our breakup all those months ago. I don't want to know if it's true because I can't afford to lose another scrap of dignity.
"That's what I'm saying, Boo. Don't let that piece of crap and his skank ruin this for you. Like I told you, any man who's threatened by your success is no man at all. There's nothing wrong withputtingyour career first. Men do it all the time. How do you think I’ve gotten to thetopof mygame? Or Ava? OrCoach, for that matter? We’re womenplayingin what used to be solely a man’sgame. Women’s Major League Lacrosse couldn’t exist without women like usputtingour hearts and souls into it.Brennanshould’ve been proud of his girl. He isn’t worth screwing up yourgamefor.”
I'd metBrennanHank three years ago, shortly after the PhiladelphiateamI'd been warming the bench for had traded me to theBaltimoreBattle. At first, he seemed impressed that I was a pro athlete. Things changed after we moved in together. His support waned until it was all but non-existent. It should've been my first clue hewasn'tthe right one for me, but my parents adored him, and on paper, he was everything you could ask for in a mate. I assumed he'd come around, especially as I started to find moreplayingtime and more success. Instead, he dumped me.
And now he is marrying my rival.
“The firstgameof theseasonistomorrow. If you keep practicing likeshit,Coach'll put Jackie in as my replacement instead of you. You really want thatassto cost you astartingposition?”
I breathedeepand exhale slowly. This is the proverbial smack upside the head I need.“Okay. I'll forget aboutBrennanand focus on the rest of thisseason.”I squeeze the waterbottleinto my mouth.
“That’s my girl.”Tishataps her lips.“You know what else you need? You need a confidence boost. You need to get laid.”
I choke, coughing up some of the water I accidentally inhaled instead of swallowing. This drew theattentionof myteammatesand some of the coaches.Tishapats me on the back."She's okay. Wrong pipe."
"But we're gonna find you the right one,"she mutters under her breath.
"T,"I splutter,"are you serious right now?"
"As a heart attack."She thumps my back one more time."You've been a dry spell for too long and this ain't helping. Orgasms equal endorphins. Endorphins equal stress relief and happy thoughts. Less stress combined with happy thoughts equals betterplaying. I'm going to write a book about it someday."
Ilaugh, not entirely sure she's kidding.“And how do you propose I do that?”
“Let me think about it. Meanwhile,Coachis getting ready to blow her whistle. You gonna go out there and slay?”
I swipe the back of my hand across my mouth, grab my helmet and gloves, andstand.“Watchme.”
Two
Palmer
Practicewent betterafter Tisha’s pep talk and Coach announced I’d bestartingin our firstgame. After showering and dressing, I leave the locker room and take the elevators to the executive offices.Coachsent me upstairs to the media suite, where the communicationsteamwould be puttingtogether a promotional feature introducing me as the startinggoalie. I never liked being the center ofattention, but the Director of Marketing is married to ourteamcaptain, Ava, and my friend,Charlie, is the Director of Digital Media. I'm in good hands.
Still, I use the reflective surface of the elevator doors as a mirror to double-check the powder andlipgloss Jewel helped me with. I smooth down the strands of my blonde bob, wishing for the hundredth time I'd gottenpinkhighlights. When I mentioned toBrennanI wanted to put colorful streaks in my hair, he dismissed it as childish.“Imagine what your parents would say,”he’d said after I showed him a few examples. He was right; my parents wouldn’t like it, but there was little I could do that they would approve of.
Speaking of–my phone jingles with the Imperial March from Star Wars.“MOM”flashes on the screen as the elevator arrives at the third floor and the doorsslideopen.“Hi, Mom.”
“Why didn’t you call us?”my mother demands. Elaine York was never one for the usual pleasantries, at least not when it came to her only daughter.“I had to hear from Aunt Dora thatRaniais engaged toBrennan.”
I draw in a breath.“I only found out last night.”
"This will be awkward,"she sighs."What will people say?"
The ball I took to my leg earlier today is nothing compared to the kick my mother delivers to mystomach. Of course, her first thought isn't about my well-being. I shouldn't be surprised, and I'm not, but I can't help thehurt."Thanks, Mom, I'm doing okay. The news was shocking, but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things."
"It matters to us,"my mother continues, either ignorant or oblivious to my sarcasm."This family has never been a topic of gossip before, and I don't intend for that to change now."
"It's not like I can control whatBrennanandRaniado, Mom. This isn't my fault."
"I know that,"she says."But, you can control your reaction and how this affects our family."
"Yeah? How?"
“I’m not condoning whatRaniadid,”my mother continues.“But she is family, and like it or not,Brennanwill be, too. If you can move past the–”
