“I’ll sneak out, and then in a few minutes, you come out. That way we’re not showing up back outside at the exact same time. ’Kay?” I force a smile, lifting on my tiptoes and brushing my lips against his in a quick kiss.
I give him one last look before stepping from his arms and slipping out the door.
The only thing I can think about as I make my way back outside is that even if he doesn’t feel the way I do… it’s too late to stop falling for Cillian Cairney.
That much I know for certain.
CHAPTER 27
Cillian
Ishould be used to change by now.
The last two years of my life had been nothing but temporary. In fact, the only thing that remained constant was that no matter how much I wished for things to be different everything would inevitably change.
It’s how I view being here in America.Temporaryuntil I could get both Aisling and myself back to Europe.
My spot on the team at Prescott…Temporary.A stop along the way till I could be back in London playing in Gallagher Premiership.
Except everything had changed between Rory and me in the past few weeks and it has knocked the fucking breath out of me because despite my familiarity with change, I didn’t expect it.
It snuck up on me and once I realized what was happening, it was too late.
From the moment we started our arrangement, we said it wastemporary. Only it doesn’tfeelthat way anymore. It feels likesomething more, something that I can’t just walk away from, and it terrifies the fuck out of me.
Maybe it had been changing since the moment that I met her, but I didn’t realize it until recently.
Maybe it’s always been something more and I was too stupid to realize it.
If there’s anything that I’ve learned since Mum died, it’s that running away from problems and things that scare me isn’t the solution. It makes it worse.
Rory’s the one thing I don’t want to get wrong.
I might not feel like I deserve her, or can be the good guy that she deserves, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to give her up.
“Ugh, this is so good,” she moans around a mouthful of lo mein as she sets the chopsticks back in the container. “I haven’t eaten anything today.”
I glare at her, ignoring the pouty lips she’s giving me, as bloody cute as it is. “You have to eat, St. James. Yes, even when you’ve got class all day. Shall I start packing you a lunch?”
She scowls at me. “No. I’m going to get better about it. But for now I just want to enjoy my lo mein in peace.”
We’re sitting against the headboard in her bed, eating Chinese takeout and half arse watching a film on the TV. Thank fuck, not a horror because I’ve seen enough in the past month to last a lifetime.
Last night was the first night we’ve spent away from each other in… a while. After dinner at Coach’s, she stayed over and had a movie night with him because she’s been feeling guilty about how little she’s seen of her dad lately.
Mostly my fault.
But it gave me time to try to sort through the shit in my head, or at least try to.
“I want to talk to you about something,” I say, glancing over at her.
Her brows pinch together. “What’s going on?”
I’m fucking nervous. I can’t remember the last time my heart beat so fast. I think I’ve gone a bit soft for her, and I can’t help it.
I set the takeout container on her nightstand and then turn to face her.
“Shit, I don’t know how to do this, Rory,” I admit, dragging my palm over my face.
