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And now I know it was Brooks. And that Brooks tried to goad him, and Cillian walked away.

He walked away without touching him.

Even after Brooks fuckinghithim!

No one said anything. They all stood by and let it happen, and I’m honestly so disappointed and ashamed that these guysI thought I knew and that I love so fiercely would take part in something like that.

Cillian made me promise not to say anything, especially to Dad, but I’m still upset about it. Even slightly at Fitz and Wren for not telling me.

But considerably more at Brooks and Ezra for being assholes. Ezra has always given me that vibe, but Brooks? I’m shocked, especially since he’s supposed to be leading this team.

A small part of me wants to tell Dad what happened, but an even smaller part of me knows that I can’t because it would mean betraying Cillian’s trust. Which is something he doesn’t give freely and I would never want to lose. Especially now that things have gotten progressively better. I would hate to undo all that progress.

Looking up, I see Wren and Cillian walking toward us after talking with Dad, and I pull my jacket tighter around me as a chill creeps up my spine. It’s freezing even with the heaters, fire, and my thick jacket.

Wren flops his massive body into the chair across the bar and pulls out the one beside him for Cillian.

“What’s up?” Fitz says, extending a hand over the table. Cillian clasps it as he gives him a rare smile. “’Bout time you finally showed up. I was getting worried that you wouldn’t.”

Cillian’s shoulder lifts in a shrug. “Nah, I told you I’d be here. Just had some stuff at the flat to handle.”

Is that why he didn’t text me back?

“Well, I’m glad you’re here, man. We’re glad, right, Ror?” Fitz says as he bumps a shoulder against me gently.

I nod, and Cillian’s eyes find mine, the two of us sharing asecret look that lasts for only a second. He reaches up, running a hand through his dark hair.

“Thanks for the invite. My first American cookout.” His tone is light, a hint of playfulness shining through. “Can’t say I’ve ever had barbeque in the cold though.”

“Dad is… dedicated when it comes to team dinners,” I say with a shake of my head. “He says they’re imperative to team building, but I think it’s just because he wants an excuse to cook for everyone.”

Wren scoffs. “Yeah, and I swear he’s secretly from Russia or something because the cold doesn’t affect him ever. He could do this shit in the middle of a snowstorm and not bat an eye.”

This is true.

His daughter on the other hand is still not accustomed to New England winters even though I’ve spent my entire life here. You’d think that after twenty years of blizzards and ice that I’d have grown used to it, but you’d be dead wrong. I think in a past life I was absolutely an island girl. From somewhere warm and tropical like Hawaii or Bora Bora.

“Oh shit,” Fitz interjects. “Do you remember that time freshman year when he made us run when it was fucking freezing outside? Because we were still hungover that day at practice. Kill, I swear to God one of us puked and it froze on the fucking ground. I wish I was joking but I’m dead-ass serious.”

Cillian laughs as he shakes his head. “No way?”

Fitz nods, lifting his hand to his heart. “Swear to God.”

“It’s been a while since any of us had to run like that,” Wren says with an arched brow and a tight grimace.

I vaguely remember that happening. I felt terrible for the guys,but then again they shouldn’t have gotten shit-faced drunk the night before an important practice, and they knew that.

“That’s hilarious. Objectively. As someone who didn’t have to participate that is,” Cillian says.

The conversation continues to flow easily between everyone, and I sit back and observe, mostly remaining quiet. At one point a few of the other guys on the team come over and talk to Cillian, which makes my heart surge.

I’m slightly emotional about it, even though I’m not going to admit that to him. I’m just so happy to see them making such an effort with Cillian, and I can’t wait to see how all their strides will affect their gameplay on the pitch.

Together? Playing as a team with trust and communication… these guys would be unstoppable. A true force.

And not only that, but I know it matters to Cillian that he’s not seen as an outsider any longer, that he’s fully a part of this team.

He might not think his feelings matter to anyone else, but they do. Tome.