I bypassed her hair since it was still cold and we were heading out. When I draped the washcloth over the tub seat, she grabbed it in her fist and tried to shove it in her mouth. “Okay, little miss, that’s not food. But with the way you are downing milk lately, I bet you would make it work.”
I reached for her hooded towel and lifted my baby from the tub, snuggling her in it while we headed to her room so I could get her dried off and dressed. Once I had a diaper secured and her body lotioned with Baby Please coconut whipped body butter which was designed for babies delicate skin, I held Avi in my arms and walked to her closet so we could pick out her fit for the day.
My baby’s room was the one thing I splurged on. I wasn’t a pink person so her room was teal and pearl, with silver and crystal accents. The crib was pearl with teal bedding and a bumper that lined the bottom. I had a fuzzy teal rug on the floor. The dresser and changing table matched her crib and Avi’s name was on the wall in twenty four inch teal crystal letters. She deserved a beautiful peaceful place to exist even if my life was chaotic and a mess.
With Avi’s help we selected a long-sleeved jean jumper and her UGGs. I got my baby dressed, brushed her hair, and placed two bows in the front, leaving the back in thick curls. While Avi babbled away on my bed, I tugged jeans up over my curvy hips and sucked in to button them, pairing the jeans with a cute sweater and UGGs that matched my little muffin before I rakedmy fingers through my braid out that I let loose right before my call with Brenden.
I sprayed on coconut lime perfume and slipped on hoop earrings to keep it cute. It felt good being dressed in real clothes after lounging in sweats and hoodies over the past couple days.
Once we were both fitted for the day, I lifted Avi, grabbed my phone, and had an impromptu photoshoot in the full length mirror in her room since I had too much clutter in mine.
As soon as we were done, Tiana sent a text saying she would be here in twenty minutes to pick us up so I placed Avi on the floor in her room while I refreshed her diaper bag.
The last thing I did was grab two bottles since we would be gone for a while then we chilled on the sofa until Tiana pulled up. I was excited about today, ready to get out of the house. I needed to escape the constant reminders of the man who hadn’t cared enough to check on us in five damn days after forcing his way into our lives.
I stabbedat a sweet potato fry with more force than required while Avi sat in her stroller contentedly gnawing on a teething ring. “I’m over this already and we’re just getting started. We haven’t heard from him in five days so I’m struggling to see the point in any of this.”
Tiana arched her brow and pulled Avi’s stroller closer so someone could pass by our table. “You know how many days?”
I narrowed my eyes and she laughed. “I’m just saying, friend. You’re clocking that man.”
“I’m clocking how he made all these promises about being in his daughter’s life and not bailing on her. This is exactly what I knew would happen. He made all those demands, singing thatfresh out of jail I’m gonna do right talk after threatening to take me to court, and where the hell is he?”
“You know that man’s schedule has to be crazy. I’m sure something came up.”
I lifted my tea and took a sip, trying to relax. I was fucking pissed. If this was what things were going to be like, Omiri should have left us the hell alone. Avi and I were just fine. “He knew his schedule was crazy before he bullied his way into this, and no matter how busy he is, it only takes two seconds to send a text.”
“Have you reached out to him?”
I grilled the hell out of her. “No, why would I? He’s the one who pushed for this. At the very least he should be making the effort.”
“Maybe he’s just trying to give you space after the home makeover.” She grinned and I rolled my eyes. “You did tell him to chill.”
“With me, yeah, because this isn’t about us but I damn sure never told him to stay away from Avi. I actually told him he needed to make an effort with her instead of throwing money at my baby’s life in lieu of being a present father.”
Tiana studied me for a minute and I already felt what was coming. She knew me better than anyone. We had only been close for a short time but it felt like I had known her forever. When I found out I was pregnant with Avi, my mother pretty much pushed me out of her life.
I ran into Tiana at the hospital during my tour, which I planned and did at three months instead of waiting. I was a little overzealous with the planning. We clicked and had been cool ever since. She had also been a lifeline because I couldn’t trust letting anyone get close to me or my baby knowing who her father was.
I refused to risk his identity getting out, pushing us into a media circus of scrutiny and judgement for getting pregnant by a ballplayer after a one night stand. The cliché of all cliches. Tiana had proven to be an amazing friend and godmother to Avi.
But right now, she was reading me in a way I didn’t like. Tiana was about to call me on my bullshit.
“You’re more annoyed than you should be. If he bails, you get your wish. No baby daddy and you and Avi can go on with your happy little lives.”
“I’m annoyed. Why do all this for nothing.”
“Mhm…” She turned Avi’s stroller toward her and tickled her under her chin as she babbled her praises. “Are you mad because you actually want him inyourlife?”
I glared and she grinned. “My bad, boo, I meant inAvi’slife.”
“This isn’t about me. So whatever you’re thinking, you can stop.”
I felt silly because for the past five days I had been checking my phone for messages that didn’t come and being partially hopeful that he would pull up on us. It didn’t happen and now I was annoyed and disappointed…
Which was the problem.
It was easy not wanting him when he wasn’t a factor. I could pretend he didn’t exist. But in the short time since he’d bullied his way into our world, I had expectations that put me in a position to be let down. I didn’t like the vulnerability of having Omiri control my emotions, even in such a small way.
