“You.” I lift her hands to my lips, ignoring the twinge in my shoulder, to press gentle kisses to her knuckles. “You matter more than any alliance or business arrangement.”
She searches my face with desperate hope. “You’re sure about this? I can’t do this again, Yarik, and I can’t be with someone who puts me second.”
“You’ll never be second, not to business, not to family obligations, and not to anything.” I move from the floor to sit beside her on the couch. “There’s something I need to tell you that I should have said weeks ago.”
Before I can continue, she interrupts. “There’s something I need to tell you too, something I’ve been afraid to say.”
“Tell me.”
She takes a shaky breath, her hands trembling in mine. “I’m pregnant.”
I jerk like she actually struck me. “What?”
She swallows, looking nervous. “Almost thirteen weeks now.” She looks down at our joined hands. “I know the timing is terrible, and this complicates everything.”
I stare at her, trying to absorb this revelation. Sarah is carrying my child, and the woman I love, the woman I almost lost tonight, is pregnant with my baby.
“How long have you known?”
“I found out about three weeks ago.” She looks up at me with tears threatening to spill. “I didn’t want you to force yourself into feeling obligated, and I wanted you to choose me because you loved me, not because I was carrying your child.”
I cup her face in my hands, forcing her to meet my direct stare. “Do you think that would have changed how I feel about you if I had known?”
She shrugs, which makes my shoulder ache since our hands are still joined. “I don’t know, but maybe. People say things change when there’s a baby involved.”
“You’re right that things do change.” I lean forward until our foreheads touch. “They become more important, more precious, and more worth protecting.”
She closes her eyes, leaning into my touch. “I was so scared you’d think I was trying to trap you.”
I immediately reject the idea. “How could you trap me when I was the one who forgot a condom a few times in the heat of themoment? The only thing that scares me is the thought of losing you again.” I pull back to look into her eyes. “Sarah, I love you. It’s not because you’re pregnant, or because of any obligation or duty, but because you’re the first person who’s ever made me want to be better than I am.”
She blinks, looking like she doesn’t really believe me. “You love me?”
I squeeze her hands a bit harder, needing her to believe me. Earnestly, I say, “I’ve loved you since that night by the pool when you trusted me enough to let me comfort you, and I’ve loved you through every stolen moment and every conversation we’ve shared.” I trace my thumb along her cheekbone. “I should have told you sooner and should have ended the engagement with Katya the moment I understood how I was feeling.”
Her expression is difficult to decipher. “Yes, you should have, so why didn’t you?”
“I could say it was to prevent a war with the Nikitins, which is part of it, but the main reason is…” I pause to breathe in and out before making a difficult admission. “I was afraid of what loving someone would cost me, how it would make me vulnerable, and what it would mean for everything I’d built.” I kiss her softly, pouring all my emotion into the contact. “I understand now that none of it matters without you.”
She kisses me back with desperate fervor, gripping my shirt as she holds me close. When we break apart, both of us are breathing hard. “What do we do now?”
I don’t reach for a ring, since I’ve never even thought about it until now, or drop to one knee. Instead, I take her hands and speak the only truth that matters. “Let me be your home now.Let me be the person you come to when you’re afraid, when you’re happy, and when you need someone to hold you through the night.”
“Yes.” She doesn’t hesitate or ask for time to think about it. “Yes, I want that more than anything.”
I kiss her again, and this time, there’s no desperation or fear behind it, just love and the promise of a future we’ll build together. She moves her hands to the buttons of my shirt, working them open with steady movements.
“Are you sure?” I ask, noting the cuts on her hands and the fatigue written across her face. “It’s been a long night.”
“I’m sure because I need to feel alive and to feel connected to you after everything that’s happened.” She pushes my shirt off my shoulders, careful of my wounded arm. “I need you, if you’re up to it.” She gently traces the outlines of the thick bandage Dr. Abshi put on me. “If not, I can wait.”
“I’m more than up for it.” Taking her hand, I briefly place it against my cock, which is hard and strains for her touch.
She smiles. “Yes, you are.”
I help her out of her torn clothes, taking care with each piece until she’s sitting before me in nothing but moonbeams from the window. She’s even more beautiful now after what we’ve survived, and knowing she’s carrying our child makes her seem almost luminous.
“You’re incredible,” I murmur, tracing the curve of her shoulder with gentle fingertips.
