What we did last night isn’t safe. It’s not normal, and it sure as hell isn’t sane. But it’s us. It’s two extremes fighting to find a moment ofpeace.
My head collapses back onto the pillow, and I let out another laugh. A laugh so loud it causes the bed to shake. A hard body besides me rolls over, and a calloused hand snakes under my arm and pulls me intohim.
“Something funny?” He chuckles, nuzzling his nose into my hair. His voice is husky with a slight rasp that curls mytoes.
“I looked in themirror.”
“It’s about damntime.”
“Mmmhmmm. And now that I can see myself, I think I may have to start wearing makeupagain.”
His nose trails down my neck, and he nips at my shoulder. “I like you just the way youare.”
“That may be so, but I need to cover these, or the boys may have a few questions we don’t want to answer,” I joke, pointing to myneck.
His fingers immediately press over the four purple prints, each of them a perfect match. I hear him swallow hard behind me as he strokes them. “Shit, I’m sorry. I got carried away last night. I won’t be so rough next time. Not that I’m assuming that there’ll be…fuck.”
I almost laugh again. Since returning to Myrtle Beach, I’ve found the new Cary to be confident, domineering, and cocky. The fact that he’s worried about a few bedroom bruises, or if I’ll let him touch me again, is endearing, if notcomical.
“I liked it,” I assure him, tracing a finger across hisjawline.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I like this side of you. I like when you’re in control and take what you want.” I pause my finger on the dimple in the middle of his chin and hold his stare. “And I like when you called meyours.”
His face turns to stone, and every muscle in his body coils. But it’s his silence that chills myblood.
His reaction knocks my new-found confidence down a couple of notches, but I force the smile to stay pasted on my face. I have no clue where we stand. We still haven’t talked about what happened at the Rugged Maniac Race or his reaction to my donation. His way of dealing with his rage was to drag me home and fuck me into acoma.
And I still haven’t told him everything I’vedone.
Cary releases me and rolls onto his back, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. I watch his chest rise as he fills his lungs and holds it. I count the seconds, waiting for him to exhale, still with that stupid smile on myface.
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. ThreeMississippi.
I make it to ten Mississippis before he finally opens his mouth and blows the breath out long and hard. The dumb laughter I’d enjoyed just minutes ago now seems like celebrating first place before crossing the finishline.
I want my plastic bagsback.
My back is still to him, but I’ve got my chin resting on my shoulder as I wait for the hammer to drop. This is where he exacts his revenge. I brace for it, but I know it’s going to break me anyway. Sending me back to jail would’ve been easier. Unlocking me from my mental prison, letting me taste freedom, and then shoving me right backin?
That’sannihilation.
After what seems like forever, he lowers his hands, piercing me with those ocean blue eyes. “Shy…”
“Gotcha,” I say, cutting him off with a fake laugh that slices my soul. “I was just kidding. You should’ve seen your face.” I roll away from him and start to swing my leg off the bed, not sure where I’m going, but knowing I have to get away from him. Before I can plant my foot, Cary grabs me around the waist and has me under him before I can fightback.
“Yeah? Well, Iwasn’t.”
“Butyou…”
“But you didn’t give me a chance to explain, did you?” He’s straddling my waist while bracing his arms on either side of my head. His dark hair is messy, the long chunk wild and falling over his eye. I want to brush it back, but I curl my fist, stopping myself. “You were ready to run away like you alwaysdo.”
All I can do is nod. He’s right. He’s also mad as hell, and I don’t have a good enough comebackanyway.
“Shy, when you let me take the fall for you that night, something broke inside of me. Everything else—prison, losing my future, Ellie—they were all layers that added to thefracture.”
He’s removed the space between us, but his words have removed the air. I pant, fighting the urge to claw at my throat. The walls feel like their closing in, and the scent of burning rubber fills my nose. However, even with panic suffocating me, I still find myvoice.
