“Everythingokay?”
Somewhere between accusing me of fucking Will and reading Taryn’s text, Cary’s expression turns lethal. I’ve never seen this side of him, and I’m not sure what to make of it. I step behind the door, unable to rationalize that the man who touched me with such passion is the same one who now seems capable of unspeakablethings.
“I’ll text Malcolm. He’ll take you home,” I say, pushing the door closed, but I’m not fast enough. With less than two inches to spare, Cary catches it with his fingers and wedges it back open. His eyes are still black, and his chiseled features are hard as stone. However, it’s the way the corners of his mouth turn down when he speaks that makes me questioneverything.
Him. Me.Us.
Thattext.
“You’re right, Shiloh. Feelings mean nothing to me, and no, everything is not okay. They haven’t been for a long time.” Scrubbing his turned cheek down the molding of the doorframe, he lets out a frustrated sigh. “I may fuck for sport, but I don’t play games with players who make up their own rules. You haven’t changed a damnbit.”
I don’t have to slam the door in his face. Grabbing the doorknob, he closes it himself, ending the rest of our conversation. His words sink in, icing my blood. Turning around, I press my back against the door and slide slowly to the floor until I collapse in tears andconfusion.
Bianca won’t be home for hours, so I sit and bang the back of my head against the door, as if it’ll somehow jar me out of the nightmare I can’t seem to wake upfrom.
I can’t last three years. I want to gohome.
Now.
Twenty-Three
Cary
TARYN:Ice skating? How does taking Shiloh ice skating make her look bad? I’m starting to wonder if you’re having second thoughts about our deal. Trust me, if you choose the wrong side, Cary, Shiloh isn’t the only one who’ll godown.
Sittingat my desk the next morning, I stare at Taryn’s text from last night and scan the last line again. Her veiled threat sparks an unfamiliar protectiveness in mychest.
…if you choose the wrong side, Cary, Shiloh isn’t the only one who’ll godown.
The more I stare, the more my eyes burn. Exhaling a frustrated sigh, I throw the phone across my desk and drop my head into my hands. How the hell has everything blown up in my face? Shiloh’s sentence here was supposed to be cut and dry. I was supposed to play with her emotions for my own amusement and watch her break down until she self-destructs.
How fucking hard isthat?
I prepared for the Shiloh who has lived in my memory for seven years. The Shiloh who stared right into my eyes and smiled with the innocence of a demon in a lamb’s skin. Only that’s not who walked in the door. The last month has shown me something in her I never expected tosee.
Regret.
What I have to do is easier said than done. I have to figure out what Taryn’s up to and shield Shiloh from it while protecting my center and my family at the same time. If I make the wrong move, I’mdone.
I reach for my phone again and type a response, dropping the first bomb of a battle I’m not sure I’m prepared to fight. Taryn’s retaliation will be deadly, and she’ll make sure I never see it coming. It doesn’t matter, though. I’ve drawn the line in the sand and declaredwar.
ME: It’s none of your damn business what I do. I’ve grown up and so should you. The past is in the past. Leave it there and moveon.
My phone pings back almostimmediately.
TARYN:You think you can just break up with me and that’s that? Fuck you, Cary. My family owns yours. My uncle is a health inspector. You’re due for a visit, right? Maybe you should reconsider. Ticktock.
“Fuck!” Slamming the phone down, I pound my fist into the wood. I’m backed into a corner. It’s not just me or my family I have to worry about. Somehow my priority has shifted. I’m now keeping the woman who destroyed me from getting destroyed by someone else so I can destroy hermyself.
How fucked up isthat?
She’s my ghost. She haunts my past and possesses my mind. I can’t exorcise her from my thoughts, and now, I’m not sure I even want to. I want to take her then I want to break her. I want to save her then I want to destroy her. The two extremes I’m fighting in my own head are slowly driving me insane. All I know is that every moment I’m with her, the need to hurt her getsweaker.
What the hell are we evendoing?
Maybe there’s too much bad blood between us to even consider mending fences. My mom always says that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life. Maybe that’s Shiloh and me. Even after what she did to me, I don’t think I ever truly stopped lovingher.
Maybe that’s the reason I hate her the most. Not because of what she did, but after the dust settled, I still couldn’t let hergo.
