The only physical sign that she’s heard me is a rapid increase in her breathing. Her chest rises and falls at a hurried pace as she turns her back to me and walks behind the futon, running her hand along the cushions. I’m about to repeat myself when she stops, her back still to me as she faces the small woodentable.
“I’ve always called that night my favorite mistake, but now I realize it was just a fatalone.”
I watch her stare at the table, and a sense of urgency pounds in my chest. “Our story doesn’t have to endhere.”
She lets out a heavy sigh before looking over her shoulder at me. “Our story never began, Cary. Don’t you see? I ruin everything that’s good in my life. You were a good person before me.” Casting another sweeping glance around the room, she lowers her eyes. “That was the night I ruined your life, not the accident. My poison got in your veins that night and turned the sweet boy I knew into someone he was never meant tobe.”
“That’s nottrue.”
“It is true. Look at what you’ve done since I’ve come back! This isn’t you. The old Carrick would’ve never let Taryn have this much control over him. The hate I left you with has eaten at you for seven years and now, guess what? You’ve become me.Congratulations.”
I need to throw something, but there’s nothing within reach but a goddamn futon pillow. Grabbing it anyway, I hurl it against the wall. “Damn it, Shiloh, I won’t let you walk away from meagain.”
Shiloh stares at the stupid tasseled pillow lying next to the wall, then slowly walks over to me. As crazy as this night’s been, I have no idea if she’s going to punch me or knee me in the nuts, so I brace myself for both. A sad smile tugs one corner of her mouth as she places a hand on my shoulder and lifts up onto her toes. The minute her soft lips graze my cheek, I know what she’s going todo.
“I won’t ruin you anymore, Cary,” she whispers next to my ear. “You deserve better, and you’ll find it. Once you find youagain.”
Settling back onto her feet, she turns to leave, then abruptly stops. Without another word, she walks toward the table. I don’t think either of us breathes as she stares into it. Picking up the sterling silver angel figurine on top of it, she smashes the base of it against the mirror. The whole thing splinters as shards of glass flyeverywhere.
I watch her walk out. My past. My present. My future. And when I can’t stand it anymore, I stare at the shattered mirror. It’s destroyed.Unfixable.
I know thefeeling.
I want to break shit. I want to break everything in the room and grind it into dust. Just like she’s done to my heart, but there’s nothing left. From across the room, my cracked reflection stares back at me. An image split into a dozen pieces of a scarredman.
Mirrors.
They don’tlie.
* * *
Seven Years Ago
April –Prom
She staresat me like she’s surprised I’m still standing out here, but we both know better. Shiloh and I have perfected this dance. I chase her. She pretends we’re just friends. I act like I accept what she’s saying. Round and round and round wego.
Everyone says I’m crazy for thinking I have a shot with her. Maybe they’re right, but it’s not gonna stop me. I love Shiloh West, and whether she’ll admit it to herself or not, she loves metoo.
The light clicks off in her room, but I’m not going anywhere. I promised her I’d stay here until morning to make sure she was safe, and I’m a man of my word. I don’t care if she knows I’m here or not. I know, and that’s all thatmatters.
Ten minutes later, I’m being pelted by a sheet of stinging rain when the backdoor swings open and Shiloh comes flying out of it dressed in a skimpy tank top and tight boy shorts. Immediately, the rain attacks her, soaking her thin clothes until they suction against her skin and cause my body to violentlyreact.
“Why the hell are you still here? Go home, Carrick! How many times do I have to sayit?”
“I can’t.” They’re the only words I can get out with her nipples poking through her transparentshirt.
In a twist I don’t expect, she shoves her hands against my chest, her chin quivering as her eyes fill with tears. “Why won’t you leave me alone? Why do you keep doing these things when I’m so horrible toyou?”
“I told you. Because Ilove—”
“No! Don’t say it! Tell me bad things. Call me names. Call me Shallow like everyone else does behind myback.”
“You’re not Shallow. You’re myStarshine.”
“I’m yourwhat?”
“You’re sunlight in a rainstorm, Shiloh, but you’re also unique. Did you know that no two stars are alike? That’s what makes you so special. Whether you become famous one day or not, it doesn’t matter to me. You’re your own star, Shy. You’re myStarshine.”
