Oscar leaned against the side of the building we were standing next to.“Worse?”
“He…our pa…” Peter looked to Lizzie, who was staring at him with wide eyes.“He said terrible things to us…all the time.And to Momma.And at night, he’d pray out loud and ask God to save him from us because we were evil, Momma was leading him astray and he didn’t know what to do about us.He said we were… He said we were all full of sin—even the baby—and that God would punish us.”
Lizzie covered her ears as she snugged up against Peter.
“But Momma?She told us that wasn’t true, that our pa was troubled and we weren’t to believe the things he said.Only ’twas hard, because he was always sayin’ it, and lookin’ at us and at Momma like we had the devil in us.”
“You call Caliope your momma.Did your pa make you?”
“Yes, sir, he did.He said she was our momma now.That’s the only good thing our pa ever did was bring Momma to us.”
“What happened to the momma who birthed you?”I was afraid to ask.If their pa had been so cruel, what had happened to her?
“She died of typhus, two years ago,” Peter said.“I was eight and Lizzie was five, and Sam had barely been birthed.I know ’twas hard for Pa, and I tried to help.And he’d always been holy and talkin’ about God and the devil, but after our first momma died, it got so much worse.He said God took our other momma because we were so bad, and God would punish us—or that pa would, one day.He said he’d kill us if he thought God would want it.”
“Now, Peter, you know that ain’t true, those things he said.”
“’Course I know it.We’s just kids.Look at Lizzie.Why, how could she be evil?”Peter said, with scorn and contempt for the very idea.“And Sam’s a baby!”
As if to emphasize this, Lizzie snuggled into Peter and cuddled her toy dog with the most beguiling innocence.I put a hand on Peter’s back, so proud of his good sense and the fact that he hadn’t let his pa’s misguided ideas poison him or his siblings.
“That’s right.There ain’t nothin’ evil ’bout any of you.I reckon the evil was all in him, only he couldn’t admit it to himself, so he struck out at you all.”
“Yes, sir.Momma got the worst of it.He’d yell, throw curses at her and tell her she should go throw herself in the river.He said she was a demon, and she didn’t deserve to live.That she was nasty and vile, and he only put up with her because she looked after us.”Peter’s face screwed up with puzzlement.“But Momma is the kindest person, and I don’t know how he could e’en think that about her.”
I glanced at Oscar, who’d gone as pale as a ghost at the thought of that man treating his own children, and Cal—ourCal—that way.
“He said almost every day that he’d murder her when she was sleepin’ and us in our beds, too, but that was only to control us and keep us scared.We were scared.We never knew what he might do…or when.I reckon ’twas only a matter of time until he did what he kept sayin’ he’d do.”Peter wrapped his arm around Lizzie and met my gaze.“I wasn’t upset when Momma took the axe to him.’Cept ’twas gruesome to watch, and I tried to hide the others from it.”
I couldn’t speak for a moment, imagining living with those threats, day in and day out.
“I know you did your best, Peter.I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
Peter nodded.“I don’t blame Momma one bit.”
“I don’t blame her either, if ’twas as you say.”My voice was soft and careful.
“’Twas because ofus—me and Lizzie and Sam—that Momma stayed with him and put up with him for so long.She wouldn’t leave us.”
We were sober as we mounted the horses to head back to the homestead.The children were quiet and so were we, thinking about everything we’d learned.Peter laid his head against my back as we rode back to Telegraph Creek, and I hoped my warmth and my steady heartbeat was a comfort.But as we got closer to where Miss June and Cal were, I felt him stiffen and sit straighter, his arms clasping me tight.
“Are you gonna tell Momma that you know what happened?”
“I reckon we won’t tell her that right away.But we’re gonna have to let her know soon enough.”
“I hope she won’t be mad at us.’Twasn’t Lizzie’s fault.She’s only seven.”
“Of course not.We knew somethin’ wasn’t right.You all were livin’ in such a state, and there weren’t no sign of your pa, even though Cal said he was travelin’ to find work.We didn’t really believe her.”
Peter nodded.
“And when Sam wouldn’t go in the barn, ’twas even more obvious that something had happened in there.”
“Uh-huh.We ain’t been in there since.”
I wanted to ask Peter what Cal had done with the body, but I didn’t have the heart to.And, anyhow, at that moment Trick pulled her horse up and said my name.
“Yeah?”
