“Now, look… You be careful, Oscar,” I said, when he was getting ready to ride out.
Miss June had allowed Oscar to prop me up with pillows so I could at least look at something besides the rafters.I’d had some porridge, a boiled egg and a cup of willow bark tea.I was feeling good, but I wasn’t looking forward to spending the day apart from Oscar.
Oscar was getting dressed to go out.I’d watched him pull on his underthings and his trousers, then a fresh shirt from his pack, then socks and boots, and now he lifted his suspenders o’er his slim shoulders and drew on his light jacket.He noticed me then.
“What?”
“I just… I like the look of you.That’s all.”
Oscar grinned and walked to the bed.“Oh, I know it.Maybe when I get back you can watch me take it all off again.”
I matched his smile.“I reckon I’d like that.”I sobered and gave him a stern look.“Now I need you to take care today.”
“I will, Jimmy.”
“You got lots of cartridges for your revolver?”
“Yes.”
“And for the rifle?”
“Yep.”
I sighed and made a fist in the bedclothes.“I don’t like bein’ laid up and you goin’ off with Trick to look for Cal.I wish I could go with you.”
Before we’d left Port Essington, I’d bought Oscar a proper leather belt with a holster for his gun.He buckled it on now and bent to lace the holster to his thigh but glanced up at me.His hair, so clean from his bath that it looked like delicate feathers, flopped o’er his forehead.He still had swollen bites from the mosquitoes in a few places, as did I, but Miss June had given him some of the same salve she’d applied to mine to stop the itching, much to Oscar’s relief.I’d make sure we had some of that good salve before we rode back to Port Essington.And he and Trick had put on some of the tincture of marigold that would keep them at bay.
I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and kiss his soft lips, but there wasn’t time for that.Oscar finished with his holster, tossed the hair off his face and walked o’er to me.
“I know.But Trick is as tough as any man, Jimmy, and I’m fierce, e’en though I’m small.”
I took Oscar’s hands in mine, gazing into his eyes with a strength that matched his.“You are, Oscar.You’re fierce and quick, and I want you to use your head and not get into a crazy mess out there.”
“Yes, sir.You know, I wouldn’t dare.”
“That’s right.You keep yourself safe, else I might have to come lookin’ for you and ruin this fine stitching Miss June put in my side.”
Oscar grinned and lifted one of my hands to his lips, kissing the skin on the back of it with the utmost tenderness.Then he lowered it and did the same to the other.
“I’ll be fine.We’ll be back well before dark.You’ll see.”He pulled something from his pocket and held it up.“I got this pretty pocket watch, see?The one that you gave me for Christmas, with my name on the back.”I smiled as he dropped it back in his trouser pocket.“I only hope we find something encouragin’, even if we don’t find Cal herself today.Miss June gave us some places to look.”
“You just do the best you can and get back here safely.”
“I will.I love you.”
“I love you, too.Now git, before I change my mind and come with you.”
* * * *
The rest of the day dragged.I ate some soup and bread that Sally brought to my room—seemed she was my dedicated nursemaid, and perhaps Miss June had given her some time off her regular duties.She seemed happy to wait on me and not in a rush to get anywhere else.
I heard the sounds of strange men about all afternoon, the footfalls from the hall, the shrieks of laughter and ribald comments, the music from the piano downstairs and some sounds of congress from the room next to mine.I knew from experience ’twas worth a pretty penny to spend a few hours among women when your life was all about men, even if I was in love with Oscar now.The women I still had in my life—Irene and Miss June and even Trick—were precious to me.And something about the girls here, whom other men paid for favors and took their pleasure with, made me happy—the way they were in control of their lives as much as they could be, since Miss June kept such a reputable establishment, and able to be more themselves than perhaps a wealthy married woman who was constrained by the expectations of polite society.If I hadn’t dedicated myself to Oscar, I might have been sorely tempted to pass the time in a more interesting way.
But I was a married man now, and I took the vow that I’d made very seriously, even if it hadn’t been at all legal.
I drifted in and out of sleep, and when I woke again to see the light of the room dimming and no sign of Oscar having returned, I felt a spike of fear.They should be back by now.’Twas getting dark, and the thought of Oscar out there in a place he didn’t know, riding around with only one other person to help him, made me sick to my stomach.
My pocket watch was on the nightstand, beside a glass of water and the soiled cup from my last bit of willow bark tea.I reached o’er to check it.’Twas nigh ten o’clock, which was late, to be sure, but up here this far north, the sun stayed out a long time at this time of year.Maybe they had come back but Oscar hadn’t wanted to disturb me, but I needed to know.
