I give him one last look over my shoulder, and though I’m confused and hurt, I still hate the look of anguish and shame in his eyes. I wish he’d let me help instead of pushing me away. I can’t make him choose me. I can’t make him love me. That’s what hurts most of all.
11
CASSIAN
I’m a goddamn idiot. I knew it the second Wilder left. I shut the door and slumped against it, sliding down to the floor and holding my head in my hands. I stayed like that until my back started to cramp, then I got up and began pacing.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself for the tenth time since I sent Blakely away a few hours ago.
No, I didn’t just send her away. I rejected her. My girl told me she loved me… and I told her to leave.
“Fuck,” I say again, coming to a stop in front of my living room window. I can see Wilder and Ari’s place across the way, the lights still on. I’m sure Blakely is still awake, probably crying and wondering what she did wrong.
It’s that thought that sends me over the edge. It’s not her fault. She did nothing wrong. Blakely put her heart on the line, and I made a rash decision based on fear.
I only hope it’s not too late to make it up to her.
I grab a t-shirt as I head out the door, getting dressed as I sprint toward Wilder’s cabin. No sooner do I raise my hand to knock on the door than it flies open, revealing Wilder standingthere, an arrogant smirk on his face. “I thought I might see you again tonight,” he says. “The girls are in the back.”
He steps out of the way before I knock him over. Smart man.
Ari’s muffled voice says something, and then Blakely sniffles, choking back a sob. It kills me to know I caused her pain.
“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she says weakly.
“Nothing,” I answer, storming into the room and falling on my knees in front of her.
Blakely’s eyes widen in disbelief, a fresh round of tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” I say over and over again.
“I don’t… I don’t understand,” she whispers.
I take her hands in mine, needing to touch her. "I love you, Blakely. I love your gentle spirit and tinkling laughter. I love watching you grow into a stronger woman each and every day. I love your smile, especially when I'm the cause of it. I love how you feel in my arms and how your cheeks flush when I praise you. I love everything about you, and if you'll forgive me for my momentary lapse in judgment, I'd like to spend the rest of my life making up for it."
My girl blinks at me, my words finally registering. “You… love me?”
“So fucking much,” I promise. Standing from my position on the floor, I pull Blakely up with me, drawing her into my arms. “What do you say? Can I take you home and start making it up to you right now?”
“Yes, please,” she murmurs into the side of my neck.
I don’t waste a single second before lifting my woman in my arms and carrying her out of the room.
“Have fun!” Ari calls out. “Call me tomorrow and give me all the juicy details!”
Wilder is still standing by the door, that stupid smirk on his face as he opens it. "Y'all come back now," he says in a fake Southern twang.
I glare at him, but how can I truly be annoyed when I have the most precious woman in my arms?
As soon as we get inside, I set Blakely down in front of the couch and cup her face. “I love you,” I tell her again, ensuring she knows I mean every single word.
“I love you, too.”
“I want to heal with you. We both have a lot to work through, but I know now I need you by my side. I freaked out, and I’m sorry. Can you forgive me, love?”
“I already have,” she whispers, getting on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to my lips.
I love every single time she kisses me, even more so now that I almost lost her.
