Once he’s under the blankets, I look over, smiling to myself when I see he’s tense and stiff as a freaking board. The poor guy seems uncomfortable, and I hope my relaxation exercise will help.
“First, we’ll start with some deep breathing,” I say calmly.
“First, we’ll start with why you get nightmares,” Wilder reminds me. He’s trying to be playful, I think, but he’s a little too anxious for that.
“Right,” I murmur, taking a cleansing breath. I did offer to tell him about me, didn’t I? It’s only fair, I suppose. He ripped his heart open for me last night after saving my life, so yeah, I owe him a bit of my story. “It’s been years since I’ve had a night terror, but I used to get them all the time as a kid,” I say softly.
Wilder grunts in disapproval, and I roll my eyes at his ridiculousness.
“Remember when I told you my parents loved me a lot?”
“Mhm,” he acknowledges.
“They did. Right up until we were all in a car accident when I was seven.”
“Ari,” Wilder murmurs, his hand finding mine beneath the blankets.
I squeeze it, thankful for his borrowed strength. “I was the only survivor. For years after the accident, my aunt ran into my room and yelled at me for waking her up. I didn’t mean to. I couldn’t help it,” I insist, starting to get worked up.
“I know, Ari,” he whispers. “It wasn’t your fault.”
I nod, taking a deep breath and then another for good measure. “I did some research on PTSD and night terrors and found some helpful resources. It felt weird to do some of the exercises at first, but when I finally found one that helped… it was all worth it. Can I share my favorite relaxation technique?”
When he doesn't say anything, I turn my head in his direction, wondering if I shared too much. Wilder is staring at me, his teal eyes peering into the very depths of my soul. I can tell he has about a hundred follow-up questions, but I’m banking on him not wanting to answer any ofmyfollow-up questions about his time in the military, so I know he won’t pry any further.
“You can share anything you want with me, angel,” he finally murmurs.
I’m not sure I heard him right, but when he maintains eye contact, I nod.
“We’ll start with some deep breaths,” I begin again. I inhale for a count of four, hold my breath, and exhale for a count of eight. Wilder follows along, both of us breathing in silence. “Now, we’re going to focus on relaxing specific muscle groups.Focus on the tips of your toes, breathing calm and relaxation into your toes, the tops of your feet, the bottoms of your feet, your heels, and then your ankles.”
I wince a bit when I focus on my sore ankle, but the relaxation exercise does help. I focus my breath and energy on my swollen joint, keeping my muscles still and at ease, not adding any extra pressure or forcing myself to feel one way or the other about the pain. It comes and goes, like everything else in this life.
“Now what?” Wilder says rather abruptly.
His grumpy tone makes me giggle. “Now we move up the muscle groups and focus on relaxing each one.”
He sighs. “I thought I was going to be relaxed by now.”
I grin. “Patience, young grasshopper,” I tease. I can’t tell for sure, but I think Wilder might have an actual smile on his face. “Now hush and focus on your legs.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I laugh and smack his chest, and Wilder surprises me again by taking my hand in his. He laces our fingers and rests our joined hands right over his heart.
I continue naming muscle groups to focus on, moving from the knees to the thighs, torso, shoulders, arms, neck, and finally, the top of the head.
“Feel your entire body now, the weight of it on the mattress. Breathing in, relaxing the body, breathing out, and letting go.” I repeat the last phrase a few times, noting Wilder’s even breaths. He’s asleep, and nothing has brought me this much joy in a long time.
I snuggle a little closer, resting my cheek against his bicep. He doesn’t even flinch. I drift off to sleep with a smile, feeling accomplished and completely satisfied.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I’m glad I was able to give the lonely mountain man a night of peaceful sleep.
5
WILDER
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Ari asks over supper the next day.
