“Eat up,” Cassian encourages, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts.
I take one spoonful and then another, exercising my restraint not to bring the bowl to my lips and drink straight from it. Instead, I eat the delicious, protein-packed soup one spoonful at a time until the bowl is empty.
“Do you want some more?”
I automatically shake my head no.
He frowns. “I’m sure you’re hungry after camping out at the work site for the last few days.”
Shame blankets me as I remember stealing someone’s lunch yesterday. I wrap my arms around my middle as if protecting myself from the guilt eating me up inside. I can’t look at Cassian, so I avert my eyes to my lap as I curl my shoulders and make myself as small as possible.
“Hey, where did you go?” comes Cassian’s soothing voice. “What are you thinking about? You shut down on me.”
I can't take it any longer. "I stole a lunch yesterday," I say in a rush as I clench my hands into fists. I want to disappear into the sweatshirt I'm wearing, but then I'd be stealing that, too. "I don't deserve a home-cooked meal or your kindness."
Silence spreads between us, and I know I’ve outstayed my welcome. At least I got a shower and a bowl of soup out of it.
Cassian’s chair scrapes against the floor, the sound filling my heart with dread. This is it. He’s going to kick me out the way I deserve.
When nothing happens, I peek one eye open, shocked once again to see Cassian kneeling next to me and making himself smaller. The confounding man holds his hand out, palm up, and I automatically place my hand in his. Something settles deep in my chest once we’re touching.
“Can you look at me, beautiful?”
There’s that word again.Beautiful.This time, he was addressing me, right?
I lift my eyes, overwhelmed by the understanding and sorrow reflected in his emerald irises.
“I know better than most what it takes to survive out there on your own. I’m sorry you were in a position where you had to make a decision like that.”
My lower lip trembles, but I’m able to hold the tears back. Barely. “But…” I trail off, unsure what I was going to say in the first place.
“No one is mad at you. You’re not in trouble. And you certainly deserve to eat, Blakely. Whoever made you feel inferior, less than, and unworthy, was wrong. I know you don’t understand that yet, but I hope you will one day soon.”
I open my mouth and close it a few times, stunned again by Cassian's response.
“Do you trust me, sweetheart?” he asks in a hushed tone.
I nibble on my bottom lip, then tell him the truth. “I want to, but I don’t know how.”
Cassian squeezes my hand and gives me a warm smile. “That’s a start,” he tells me before standing to his full height. Hetakes my bowl and refills it, setting it down in front of me. “I’m going to make the bed up for you whenever you’re done.”
“It’s your bed,” I protest. “I’m fine on the couch. Honestly, it’s so much better than what I usually sleep on.”
Cassian furrows his brow, and I can tell he wants to ask me more about it. He decides not to say anything, which I’m grateful for. I don’t want him to know how pathetic I am.
“That settles it, then.” Good, I’m glad he understands. “You’redefinitelygetting the bed.”
“But–”
Cassian leaves the kitchen before I can finish my thought. This man wants good things for me? I’m still skeptical, but I’d be lying if I said Cassian wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to me. I may be naïve, but I meant what I told him. I want to trust him.
I hope I don’t get played for a fool for a second time up on this mountain.
5
CASSIAN
Irun my fingers through my hair, tugging at the strands as I pace from one side of the living room to the other. Part of me thought I’d wake up this morning to find an empty bed because Blakely ran or because I made her up. But when I checked on her in the early hours of the morning, she was sound asleep, her soft little snores settling deep in my bones.
