She blushes bright red, and I realize how that came off. Then, I realize that it’s true. I got the sense earlier that Ari hasn’t had much experience with men or dating in general, but I think she’s telling me I’m her first… everything.
Panic sets in as my vision tunnels. Ari deserves someone better. Someone who can be sweet and gentle and understanding. I’ll only break her heart. I don’t know how to handle someone as precious as Ari, and given the chance, I’m sure she’d come to that conclusion on her own.
“Wilder?” Ari asks. The way she says it lets me know it’s not the first time she’s tried getting my attention. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I automatically respond, nodding robotically. Even as I say the word, I’m tearing the blanket off and rolling out of bed. “Just realized I haven’t done a perimeter check in a while,”I say, not even sure what the hell is coming out of my mouth.Perimeter check? This isn’t the Rangers, you idiot.
“Oh… okay,” Ari answers, though I know she’s confused.
I don’t blame her. I’m confused, too. All I know is that the cabin is too small to stay in there with Ari and not ravish her body, and I can’t do that since I’m a bastard who can’t be trusted with someone as sweet and pure as my Ari.
“I’ll be back,” I tell her as I pull on pants and a shirt. I grab my boots and jacket on the way out the door, leaving a stunned, slack-jawed Ari staring after me.
What the fuck am I doing?
6
ARI
Istare at the back of Wilder’s head as he disappears down the porch steps, not quite sure what just happened. I had the most intense dream about Wilder waking me up in the middle of the night, needing to kiss and touch and get lost in each other.
Apparently, my body was so on board with the whole fantasy that it decided to literally mount the mountain man and take him for a ride.
Heat rushes through me at the memory of waking up right on the edge of coming, staring into Wilder’s teal eyes, filled with just as much heat and lust as I was feeling. When he growled and called me angel, it was game over.
The way he kissed me like he couldn’t get enough and held onto me with his mighty hands made me feel sexy and powerful and completely confident.
But now I’m alone, and I’m not sure what went wrong.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I test the weight on my left ankle, pleasantly surprised when it’s only a dull ache and not a sharp pain. I decide to get up and rinse off, grabbing another shirt and a pair of sweatpants from Wilder’s dresser.
I’ve always been a bigger girl, so I’m kind of shocked when I have to roll up the sweatpants and pull the drawstring tight to keep them from falling. Then again, Wilder showed me his impressive size and strength when he carried me halfway up a mountain.
Wilder still isn’t back from “checking the perimeter,” whatever that means, so I hobble to the bed and straighten the blankets and pillows, making everything look nice. When I’m done with that, I move on to the small living room area, clearing off the coffee table and stacking the books back on the shelf.
Looking around the cabin, I give everything a once-over. I’m unsure what I did to spook Wilder away, but Aunt Maureen always forgave my weirdness as long as I kept the house spotless. Maybe Wilder is the same way. Depending on how long he’s gone, I can even get breakfast going.
I find a small closet with some cleaning supplies and get to work. It takes me a bit longer to get around on my sore ankle, but stretching it feels good after a day of rest yesterday.
Once I’m done with the bathroom, bedroom, and living room, I move on to the kitchen. The dishes are all done and dry, so I settle for putting everything away and cleaning off the counters. I’m just about to see what there is for me to make for food when the back door swings open and Wilder trudges in.
“Hey!” I greet him with a wave and a smile, hoping to smooth things over.
Wilder looks at me, then looks over my shoulder at the kitchen. I hoped he’d be happy, but he frowns.
“Uh, so I did a few chores while you were away,” I continue, even more confused by his reaction. “Dusting mostly, straightening out the bed, cleaning up the dishes, stuff like that.”
The man continues to stare at me, his expression unreadable.
“Sorry if that was intrusive. I just w-wanted to say sorry.” I pause, my stupid voice cracking slightly with emotion. Why is he so upset?
“Sorry?” Wilder grunts.
“You know, sorry for being weird. Sorry for jumping your bones. Sorry for… me,” I end with a pathetic shrug.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he says as he walks into the kitchen and into my personal space. “I’msorry.” Wilder holds out his hand, and I place mine in his. He rests our hands on his chest, his eyes filled with regret. “I freaked out. I… I don’t deserve you, and I definitely don’t deserve your kindness. You're the last person in the world who should be cleaning up after me. And your ankle…”
He hisses as he looks at my ankle, but honestly, it isn’t bothering me all that much. Still, it seems to be bothering Wilder quite a bit.
