“Is it fair to Rome to have feelings for his brother and let them linger? At least this way you’ll be able to find out if they’re real or not. If you go out with him and find that you don’t have feelings like you thought, then you can move on like nothing happened.”
“I’m a lover girl when it matters,” Camilla stated. “I say do what feels right. But babe, if you were truly in love with Rome then it wouldn’t be so easy for another man to catch your attention like this.”
A lot of what the two of them were saying made sense. The past couple weeks I had been second guessing my relationship, comparing how Rome treated me to how Creed did, wondering if I could truly accept him not learning ASL with the fear that maybe one day the aids would stop working. Creed had me realizing the perfect relationship I thought I had was far from it. It was a tough pill to swallow too.
“Look… don’t do anything you don’t want to do, cousin. At the end of the day you have to live with your decision. Do whatever feels right,for you.”
“She’s right, Nakyra. Only you can make the call, chica.”
I knew they were right. I could get all the advice I wanted from them, but at the end of the day it was my life that would be affected by my choices. My biggest dilemma was whether exploring things with Creed was worth blowing up my whole life.
Chapter 19
Creed
Ileaned on the wall listening to Dylan as he vented about him and Camilla. It wasn’t too often he voiced their issues out loud so it must be taking a toll on him now. He was messing with something under his hood so I couldn’t see his face, but his voice dripped of stress. We were at the shop his crew owned and operated out of.
“She’s been on me about marriage lately. Whenever we argue that’s what it eventually circles back around to,” he complained.
“Is that so wrong? You don’t want to marry her?” I asked, studying him as his body tensed.
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry her.” He lifted his head and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. “I just don’t want to be pressured into the shit. When the time comes, then of course I’ma give her my last name, but she wants it for all the wrong reasons right now.”
I squinted and crossed my arms over my chest. “What’s that?”
He clenched his jaw and looked off to the side. Facing his car he planted his hands on it and dropped his head. I’d never seen my friend look so stressed.
“She had a miscarriage a few months back. It’s been taking a toll on her and now she’s obsessed with marriage. Before then she wasn’t pressing the issue.”
“Damn, man.” I sighed. “Sorry to hear that.”
Grabbing the towel on the car, he wiped his hands and turned so his back was facing the car and he leaned on it, facing me.
“It fucked me up, but I wasn’t the one who went through it physically, so I know it was harder on her. I tried being there for her, but she gets emotional then angry eventually and that’s when an argument breaks out. The shit’s draining as fuck.” He shook his head.
I’d never been through a miscarriage or that kind of situation before so I couldn’t say I knew what he was dealing with. While I would love to be a father one day, I hadn’t been blessed with the opportunity yet.
“You gon’ leave her?”
His brows furrowed. “What? Hell nah. I just want shit to go back like it used to be.” Stressed was plastered all over Dylan’s face.
“She probably just needs some time. A miscarriage is a heavy thing for a woman to deal with.”
Again, his jaw clicked. “Yeah… maybe.” He pushed off the car. “I’ll be back.” He turned and tossed the towel on the car then headed toward the back of the shop.
My phone vibrated, gaining my attention. Digging in my hoodie pocket, I checked the screen, surprised to see it was Nakyra. It surprised me that she even reached out. I had been staying out of her way so I wouldn’t crowd her space after she turned me down. It wasn’t the news I wanted, but it was something I expected. Nakyra wasn’t the type to cheat. So she didn’t feel uncomfortable or pressured, I’d been finding more reasons to stay out of the house and away from her.
Nakyra
Hey, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow afternoon?
Slowly sliding my tongue over my bottom lip, I thought for a second. I was supposed to meet up with Dee. It was a shock to me to learn she was Nakyra’s wedding planner. When we were together we didn’t discuss anything personal. Everything was physical then we went our separate ways. I didn’t even know her real name until that day. I had visited the club the day after Nakyra shut me down, just to play, then made plans with Dee later that evening. It had been a while since I had a consistent play partner and sometimes it was better than multiple.
Reading over the text again, my fingers began moving before I could think about it.
Me
I had a couple things to handle, but what’s up?
