“Girl, cheer up!” Jatavia exclaimed, nudging me with her shoulder. “We’re supposed to be celebrating and you’re sulking! You’re finally free!”
My eyes lifted and I watched my friend as she danced in place while drinking her cocktail. I knew her intentions were good, but I wasn’t in the celebrating mood.
After Crusher dropped me at home, I stayed locked inside for a couple of days, not bothering to let anyone know I was back. It felt odd being home. It was as if I was a stranger in my own house. I had grown so accustomed to being with Kairus and around him that I wasn’t sure how to get back to my life before him.
Jatavia had been maintaining my house while I was gone and stopped by to grab the mail and everything when she found me staring blankly at the wall. She was ecstatic to learn Kairus had let me go and I didn’t have to work for him anymore. I should have been too, but I couldn’t find it in me. Before we even pulled away from the estate I grew sad. My heart hurt and I longed to turn around and go back inside, back into the bubble I hadcreated with Kairus. The way he shut down after he gave me that soul snatching kiss made my knees weak and I coveted him even more.
Knowing Kairus and how he was, I expected him to come back and get me by now, but I was wrong and that hurt the most.
“I’m just tired,” I finally responded, wiping my eyes. I looked around my living room. The urge to get rid of everything and start over pulled at me.
Jatavia stopped dancing and faced me. She bounced her eyes around my face and squinted. Grabbing my phone, she paused the music.
“No, it’s more than that. Something’s up?” Her forehead creased. “Did he do something to you? Are you pregnant?” Her eyes bucked.
I choked on air and shook my head. “What no! You know I’m on the shot.” I bit into my bottom lip, remembering I was due for my next round. “I just don’t know what to do with myself now.” For a second I pictured me round with Kairus’s child. Knowing I would always have a piece of him caused my heart to skip.
Why didn’t he want me to stay?My hands clenched.
Confusion filled her face. “What do you mean? You can go back to school and come back to Elite.”
I rubbed my tired eyes. Elite was most likely out of the question. I didn’t even feel right going on random dates, no matter how innocent they were. School sounded good, but I needed to find out how missing the end of the semester had affected me.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” I needed to go to my parents’ house. Not only to see my mom but to talk to my dad. There was no way he got a hundred thousand dollars that quick. I was curious where the money had come from.
“You don’t miss him, do you?” Jatavia questioned slowly.
Lifting my eyes, I ran my tongue over my lips but didn’t answer right away. I knew she wouldn’t understand it. Everyone saw Kairus as a monster, not understanding he was so much more than that. That under all that cruelness was a heart worth loving. It’d only been a couple of days and I had the strong urge to run back to his estate and demand that he let me stay.
Instead of responding, I turned and looked at the window. A couple pushing a stroller was passing by.
“Oh, Azeira.” Pity dripped from her voice.
Tears clouded my eyes. “I’m fine,” I stated.
Jatavia reached over, placing her hand on top of mine. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t speak because I knew if I did nothing but sobs would come out. “Azeira.” I shook my head and inhaled deeply.
“It’s fine,” I croaked.
When I walked out of Kairus’s house I felt like I left a part of my heart there with him. He was the first man to really see me, to value me, to crave me more. Spending time with him caused me to unpeel the layers and learn the man behind the beast. I shouldn’t have caught feelings for him. I shouldn’t wish he would come back and get me.
Our time had come and gone. Although I knew I would never have another man like him again, I knew I had to move on.
“Something’s different about you. Is everything okay?” Mom asked.
I nodded and ran my hand through my hair. “Should you be out of bed?” I asked as she moved around the kitchen.
She waved me off. “I’m not about to spend any more time wasting away in bed. I’m fine.” I wanted to protest but she seemed healthy enough. Her last day of chemo was last week and now it was just a waiting game. “Now back to you, don’t avoid the question. Why do you look like someone stole your best friend? Is it that boss of yours? Did he do something to you?” She narrowed her eyes at me.
Swallowing hard, I looked toward the entrance of the kitchen while leaning on the counter. “No. Nothing’s wrong, Mom. You worry too much.”
“I’m your mother, that’s my job.”
My tongue swiped over my lips. “Well I’m good. Just happy to have a day to relax and hang out with you.”
It felt weird knowing Crusher wasn’t outside waiting for me or that after I left here I didn’t have to rush back to Kairus’s house. I had been trying not to think about him though.
