A sexy, breathy laugh leaves her lips. “Deal. It might take tons of repetition. Just to be sure, of course.”
She smiles, flashing those pearly whites, then rolls onto her back, and a weird serenity falls over me as we stare at the ceiling.
Christmas is in five days. I have five days left of this. And I don’t know if that’s going to be enough for me.
“Noelle?” I ask, my voice a bit shaky.
“Yes, love?” she answers.
“I’m glad you invited me. I’m happy here, with you.” My voice is raw and real, no barricade or wall masking the emotion behind it.
“Kat?” she asks as I stretch my arm out between us.
“Yeah?”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” I can hear the smile in her voice, and I feel the air shift—or perhaps it’s just a shift between us.
Her pinkie skates across mine, and I suck in a breath. Slowly, one finger after the other interlocks with mine. She squeezes slightly. I squeeze back. It feels an awful lot like an unspoken conversation, one that threatens to irrevocably alter thefakenessof our relationship.
10
Noelle
December 21
THE EUPHORIA OF SLEEPfades away, and I become aware that a snuggly Kat is wrapped around me. Her head is lying high up on the top of my chest. The arm is wrapped tightly around my waist and tucked between my back and the sheets. She is a boa constrictor, and I am a very happy prey.
I suddenly realize that my hand is resting gently on her back when she takes a deep breath. She is so peaceful like this, so calm. I think Kat comes across as this quiet mouse that likes to paint and be a perfect housewife. But I know there’s another side to her. I see glimpses of it. Like when she climbs an icy tree in the middle of a snowball fight. Or how passionate she is about her art. Or the fact that she even agreed to come with me in the first place.
There is a version of Kat locked inside. One that wants to live the wayshewants. She is fearless and courageous. She is confident in every decision she makes because she makes it with the most important person in mind—herself. Seeing that side of her, even in short bursts, is incredible to watch. I want to keep pushing her to see how far she can go.
Being used as a body pillow might be my new favorite job. I choose to enjoy it a bit longer and go back to sleep. In the comfort of her embrace, sleep comes easily.
I spent all day yesterday putting together an elaborate surprise for my Kit Kat tonight. What a waste that I haven’t been calling her that all along. I was going to ask her if she liked surprises because some people genuinely don’t. But if I asked if she liked them and she said yes, she would probably know that I was planning something.
So, instead, I planned without her input. I hope she isn’t afraid of large animals.
We are all getting ready to go on the tour of lights, which I completely love. But this year will be a little bit different than what the rest of the family is used to. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to pull off the surprise for the entire family, or we would all be doing this together. To be honest, I wasn’t too heartbroken when I found out they didn’t have enough available.
As I walk downstairs to join my family and Kat, my heart starts racing. I’m nervous as hell for tonight. This will just be her and me. Snuggled up under a blanket, riding through the city. It’s romantic, it’s intimate, and it’s real.
Everyone is standing in the entryway of the house, putting their shoes on when I walk in. Kat locks eyes with me, and I smile at her overenthusiastically. The sexiest smirk forms on her lips, and I shake my head at her while biting the inside of my cheek.
“Is everyone ready to go?” my mom asks the group.
“Yes,” and “Mmhmm,” answer her question.
I already loaded the basket of treats and blankets into the car last night. And I also filled my mom in on my plan yesterday, so she is helping me execute it. She is driving everyone tonight and is taking us to the start of my and Kat’s little adventure.
I glance at Muffin, who is sleeping on the couch, before giving my attention back to the group.
As we walk out to my mom’s car, I fall into step with Kat, who, might I say, looks beautiful tonight. Her dark hair is loosely curled, flowing out from a cream knit beanie that has a large pom-pom on top. Her makeup is light, no eye shadow and a little mascara. And ChapStick is her lipstick of choice tonight.
Sliding my hand into hers, I intertwine our fingers and lean down to her ear. “You look beautiful, Kat.”
She glances at me as her cheeks flush. “Thank you. You do too. It’s almost annoying how perfect you always look.”
I laugh, cackle really, at what she said. “I’m sorry?”
