I’ve never been more in love with her, with the woman who has faced immense loss, excruciating pain, endless heartache, and she still sits here with me, baring her soul.
“I’m sick of being scared. I’m sick of feeling helpless. Ihateit. I hate Brady. I hate Austin for what he did to Stella. I hate myself for letting him fool me. I hate my mom for getting cancer. I hate that it’s no one’s fault that she did. I hate my dad for leaving me. I hate that part of me wishes I had gone with him. I hate me. I hateeveryone. I hateeverything. There’s so much hate in me that there’s no room for anything else anymore. But there’s one person I could never hate, as much as I force myself to try …” She looks away.
My tears roll down my face and mix with her own between us. She has faced too much, been through too much. She should never have had to do it alone.
Her voice is barely audible as she says, “You. I’ve tried … I’ve tried so hard to hate you. To forget you. To make you forget me. But I can’t, and I’m so tired of trying, Callum.” She presses her palm against my chest.
I hold my breath, terrified and hopeful of her next move.
Slowly, she leans forward and kisses my chest right above her palm. Fucking fireworks explode under my skin.
Her sweet, shattered voice continues, and I hang on to every word for dear life. “I have to tell you something. And you might not stay afterward. You might run and never look back. But you deserve the truth. You deserve more than I can give.”
I stay silent, not wanting to stop her. At this point, I can’t imagine a single thing that would make me run.
She looks down, staring at her hand still resting on my chest. “I lied to you. I’ve been lying to you. And I’m so sorry. I’ve lied so much that even I sometimes forget the truth. I thought I was doing what was best for you, what was best for me. Because you are the most amazing guy and you deserve to not kiss a girl who might run out on you. You deserve a girl who won’t lie to you.” She pauses, and my heart slams into my throat. “Cade and I have never slept together. I have never slept with anyone but you.” She hesitates. “Aside from Brady, but that doesn’t count. I didn’t choose that.”
I can’t stop myself before I say, “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”
Her thumb strokes my chest. “Cade and I made a deal. He wanted all those girls off his back, and I wanted you to move on. I wanted you to find someone who wouldn’t crumple in your fingers. I wanted you to find someonegoodfor you, not someone who would burden you. But you wouldn’t give up. You wouldn’t quit.” She takes a long, slow breath and then meets my eyes. “So, I do. I quit. I’m done trying to get you to move on. I’m done trying to hate you. I’m done running from my fears at every turn. I’m done pretending that I can stay away. I’m done pretending that I haven’t fallen for you because I’ve been falling since the day we met, and I’ve been in a free fall since then, just waiting for you to catch me.”
My breaths quicken, faster and faster, and I slide my hand up her head and pull her to my chest as our breathing syncs and our hearts reunite. Tears well in my eyes.
My whole body is trembling. “I-I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for”—my voice cracks—“so long, love. So long.”
She slides her arms around my waist and squeezes, sobbing into my shirt, and she softens—her body, her walls, her being. She melts into me.
Suddenly, she leans her head back and stretches up, and her lips press into mine. In shock, I don’t move right away.
She starts to pull back, and I snap into reality. My hand on the base of her neck secures her in place as my lips move against hers and then with hers.
Tears soak our faces, mixing in our kiss. Her lips press into mine like she has been waiting a century to do this. And I do the same.
I tease her lips with my tongue, which immediately part, but I don’t push it further than that. This kiss isn’t about that. It’s about us being together again.
I kiss her senseless, memorizing every line of her lips with my tongue. I kiss her until she can feel my love, feel it dance between us. Until she pulls away with the smallest smile on her lips, lays her head on my chest, and drifts into sleep.
TWENTY
Becca
“Dad, can we go grab some Thai?” I call through the house as I shut the front door behind me.
Guilt gnaws at my chest, twisting my stomach. I blew up at my dad before I left this morning.
He’s had a hard time looking at me since Mom passed. I’ve been told for the longest time that I look exactly like her. And Dad barely makes eye contact with me anymore.
I got angry—really, really angry. Because I lost her too! It wasn’t just him. He isn’t suffering alone. I lost my mom. I’ll never get to go wedding dress shopping with her. I’ll never get anything ever again. Every memory I make will be incomplete.
And he yelled at me? The audacity. He’s not the only one who lost someone. I need him. I need my dad right now, more than ever. He’s my rock, the only thing I have to come home to.
What he said to me before I left was mean, but what I said … was cruel.
All my rage stayed locked in me when I left for school. And I might have released it in a very unhealthy way, on a very unfortunate girl.
But she got me back, which is definitely not what I’m used to. It was … refreshing. Cade is going to have his hands full with that one. He’s not going to be able to wink and have her wrapped around his finger.
That new girl, Stella, soaked me in Gatorade, ruining my outfit—my two-thousand-dollar outfit, mind you. I mean, I guess I had it coming since I drenched her in my shake.
