Page 82 of Find Me in the Rain


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Once I feel organized and comfortable, I begin to tell him everything I’ve come up with.

I walk them through my marketing campaign. Starting next month, we should set TikTok-trending tables in every store. I also tell them this might be productive with any other socials that are blowing up as well.

Then, I share my ideas about working with indie authors and how this is a group of authors with immense followers and readers, who are often skipped over in corporate stores.

I suggest setting up a schedule with author signings and spotlighting an indie author every month.

By the time I finish my presentation, I have the biggest smile on my face. And both Darius and Alyssa give me a standing ovation, which feels a little silly, as they’re the only people in the room.

The high of the presentation quickly fades as I walk outside. The reality of Alec being gone crashes through me again.

I thought I could handle hurting him for a short while, but I wasn’t ready for it to crush my soul.

I fumble with my keys as I unlock my door, my vision blurring from the tears welling.

I don’t think I can do this. I think I have to tell Alec. I need to call him, to hear his voice, to soothe the burn in my chest.

I reach for my phone and scroll through my Contacts to his number and hover over the Call button.

My heart is begging me to press it, but I’m afraid that my heart might lose this battle. I can’t be selfish enough to take his entire life’s work away from him even if he might be selfless enough to lose it all for us.

I lock my phone and chuck it behind me, hearing it smack the backseat.

If I can’t have Alec right now, I will go to my next best listener—my mom. I would give anything to hear her voice right now.

The last time I met with the doctors, they said that with each day, it’s less likely that she’ll wake up. But I refuse to accept the fact that she’ll be gone one day.

My mom is my best friend, and she’s the only one I want to talk to right now.

“Laura! Get in here!” my mom hollered from the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes and dragged myself and my swollen ankles over the worn carpet. And when I turned the corner to the kitchen, tears stung the backs of my eyes.

She had her arms gesturing to the counter filled with all sorts of stuff for Jack—a car seat, bottles, diapers, clothes, bibs, blankies, socks, and a framed photo of his most recent ultrasound.

My hand found my parted lips, but it did nothing to stop the whimpers that came from it.

“Oh, honey. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” My mom rushed toward me and embraced me as best she could with the giant bump between us.

An alien sensation gushed between my legs, and I could feel wetness soaking through my leggings.

“M-Mom.” My eyes went wide.

She pulled back, hearing my concern. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t find the words, my fear overwhelming me. I just looked down, my mouth hanging open.

She squinted her eyes and then reached out and touched my leg, feeling the moisture that had saturated my black leggings. “Oh! Oh my gosh. Okay. I’ll grab the go bag, and you get in the car.” She turned and then spun back around with her finger in the air. “You change. I’ll grab the bag, and then we’ll go. Time to meet little Jack.”

She reached out and kissed my forehead, and I remained frozen.

She took a step to turn and noticed I hadn’t moved. “Laura, what are you doing? We’ve got to go.”

My breathing quickened, and my heart rate was skyrocketing. “Mom … Mom, I can’t do this. I can’t have a baby. I’m not ready. I—”

She grabbed my face in her hands, pulling all of my attention to her. “You listen to me. You are so strong, Laura. No one ever feels ready when this moment comes—no one. It’s scary—you’re bringing life into this world. But you are ready, baby. I have watched you grow into an incredible woman these last nine months, and that little boy is going to have the best mother anyone could ask for. We don’t have time to prepare for the greatest moments; they just simply find us when we need them most.”

I nodded, my nerves still eating me alive, but her words began to sink in.