When we approach my mom’s room, I turn to him and take a deep breath.Here we go.
I let him walk in first, just gauging his reaction. I look for fear or pity at all the machines hooked to her. I find neither, only sadness for the woman he once knew.
I follow him in, taking the seat I always do. I pull my chair up to the edge of the bed, wrapping her hand in mine.
“Hey, Mom. I brought a visitor today.” My words catch in my throat.
She looks worse today. Her cheekbones seem to be more prominent.
“I know you remember Alec.”
He rests his clasped hands on the bed next to her, focusing his attention on her face. “Hey, Mrs. Young. You raised an incredible woman, and you would be so proud of the boy she has raised.” His eyes flicker down to his hands. “I’m sure you are pretty upset with me, and we have a lot to catch up on. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, and I plan on explaining it all to you when you wake up.”
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I last fully cried. I know there is so much pent-up emotion inside me. If there was ever going to be a breaking moment, it would be now. But it won’t break free.
Alec and I sit and talk with my mom for about an hour. He tells her all about hockey and about the first time he met Jack. She would’ve laughed—I know it.
I fill her in on the marketing opportunity I got. I should be starting sometime this coming week.
When we stand up to leave, I bend down and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I pat Alec’s chest, ready to head out, but he steps toward her and leans in, whispering something in her ear. He kisses her forehead and then turns to me. Without a word, he takes my hand and leads me out of the room and out the way we came. With no mention of what he said. And I don’t ask.
We stop at the grocery store to grab stuff for dinner. I’m going to make this garlic zucchini ramen dish I found online earlier.
When we pull into the driveway, I’m ready to get some comfy PJs on and start cooking for everyone.
Alec turns the knob on the front door, but before he can get it fully open, Josh fills the doorway with a look of terror on his face.
He runs his hands down his face, and my stomach drops.
“I’m sorry, Laura. He was asking questions that were completely natural for a little boy. Like where babies come from, how it happens, whatever. Long story short, we got done with the conversation, and he tells me he’s going to go play cars upstairs.” Josh’s hands are waving dramatically. “Then, when he comes back down, he has a couple pictures in his hand, and … oh God, Laura, I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t my place. But when he asked me, I couldn’t lie to him, you know? Please don’t hate me.”
I grab his face in my hands. “Josh, what the hell are you talking about?”
Alec steps next to me. His voice is shaky as he demands, “Josh, spit it out!”
“He found your shoebox in the closet, the one from high school. He recognized you and Alec in the pictures. He knows, Laura. He knows.”
16
Oh God.All color drains from my face.
“You told him, Josh? Seriously?”
My shock is beginning to grow into anger—no, fury.
Josh steps fully out of the doorframe, pulling the door shut behind him. “Laura, I’m sorry. He straight-up asked me. He’s a smart kid—you know that. And he literally had a picture of you guys from high school. It didn’t take me telling him for him to figure it out.”
This isn’t how this was supposed to go. It was our choice to figure out how to tell him, if and when we were ready.
My anger is boiling. It needs an outlet, and it finds its target.
I grab his shirt collar and pull him down to my level. “How could you let this happen, Josh? This shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have happened today and especially not with you. Don’t you think it would have been a lot better, coming from hisactualmom and dad?”
I slam my eyes shut, and my heart aches, knowing I’ve gone too far. Josh has always looked at Jack almost like a son. He watches him when I’m busy, takes him to school, and picks him up when I can’t. And he always makes sure he is available for anything Jack needs.
He yanks back out of my grasp, pursing his lips. “Nice, Laura. Thanks.”
