Page 40 of Find Me in the Rain


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My veins are hot right now. I snap at him, “What?”

“He’s hot. You need to let him cool down.” Cam warms, wanting in his eyes.

I care for Cam, I do. And I may have gone a little far tonight using him to make Alec jealous. But I don’t have a choice in the matter, it will always be him.

But the fact that Cam’s grasp is still tight on my wrist is starting to piss me off. I try to free myself but he doesn’t budge. I squint at him and feel a weird calm wash over me. “You know what I need, Cam? I need men to stop controlling my fucking actions.” Wow, this alcohol has a mind of its own. “I needyouto let go of my damn wrist. I’ve known him since I was fifteen fucking years old, Cam. I know how to handle him. I don’t need a lesson from you.” Without another word, I yank my wrist out of his grasp, taking off after Alec.

The cool air slaps me in the face when I open the door. I frantically search for him, my vision getting fuzzier and fuzzier by the second.

I race down the driveway and into the street, spinning every way, trying to find his face. Frustrated and angry, I pace back up the driveway. I reach for the handle of the door.

“Laura,” Alec calls to me, tension in his voice.

I turn and am rushed with so many feelings. Anger with him for entertaining the blonde, anger with myself for reacting the petty way that I did, and more anger with myself that all I really want to do right now is jump into this man’s arms and ask if his face is okay.

What in the hell is wrong with me?

He walks up to me. “What the fuck was that in there?”

I rock back on my heels. “Are you serious right now? How about the blonde whose boobs were practically on your damn face? Huh?”

He throws his hands up. “She was talking to me, not grinding on my fucking dick! You come with me as my date and then go whore out with one of my teammates? Nice, Lu. Real nice. That’s not the Laura I know.” He scoffs at me.

I laugh. If I thought I saw red before, boy, was I wrong.

I stalk up to him and push his chest. I jut my finger in his face. “Never—and I mean,never—call me a whore. You have zero claim on me, Alec.None!” I keep taking a step forward, backing him up. “You left to follow your precious dreams. Well, congrats. Youfuckingmade it. You got the money and the luxuries. And it looks like you even got the girls. You get to live care free, worry free for no one else in the world except for yourself.”

His back is against the garage now, but I wish I could push him through the damn wall. Somewhere behind me, I hear Charlotte call my name.

But I don’t let up for a second. “This is the lifeyouwanted. You chose this over us. You leftus. And I was left to pick up the pieces and survive. You don’t know me, Alec. Youknewme. I am nowhere near the girl you left. So, go enjoy your precious life and leave us the hell alone. He’s doing great, by the way, not like you’ve asked.”

I shove him once more and storm off to Charlotte.

But not before he shouts back, “What the hell are you talking about, Laura? You broke up with me!”

I ignore him. I’m not fifteen. I refuse to play games with him.

Reed is in his car, waiting for me. Charlotte is holding the door open, and I barely make it into the backseat safely.

“Hey, Alec!” Char shouts. “Gofuck yourself!” She slides in and slams the door behind her as Reed takes off.

My blood is boiling. I press my cheek against the cold window and close my eyes.

I should have known better. I did know better. I just didn’t care.

I won’t make that mistake again.

11

Then

Dear Alec,

I miss you. I miss your hugs. Your smile. Your laugh. I miss you tickling me when I’m sad, just to make me smile. I miss you leaving love notes in my locker. I miss you hiding and watching me open them. I miss pretending I didn’t know you were there.

We should be together, Alec. We belong together.

The way I ended things, I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t mean for it to happen. All the wrong words came out. And when you pushed back, I didn’t know what to do. You fought for us, and I stayed silent. I was scared I was holding you back from your dreams, that I was getting in the way. I knew you wouldn’t break up with me for it, so I did what I thought you deserved—to have the world. And hockey will get you there. I believe in you so much. I always have, and I always will.