“Oh, Lu.” He reaches across the table, his fingers inching closer to mine.
Images of my mom, cold and pale, flash through my mind over and over. But I’m yanked back to reality the second his fingers graze mine.
I immediately pull away from his touch. I’m too vulnerable right now, and that is no place for him. My eyes shoot to his, which are full of … regret?
He folds his hands together. “I’m so sorry, Laura. What happened?”
I lean my head back against the seat and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. My mind is thrown back in time, recounting the endless trips to her hospital room over the last few months. I can still remember it as if it were yesterday. From the details of the cold white room to the mole on the doctor’s cheek. It was like my brain was hyperaware the entire time, burning the memories into my mind.
And now, I’m about to relive it all over again, telling Alec. The story never really gets any easier.
“A year ago, she had a hemorrhagic stroke. She wasn’t found right away, and by the time I did, she had already gone a long time without oxygen.” The backs of my eyes begin to sting, but I push it away, afraid that once I start, I won’t be able to stop.
Alec keeps quiet, giving me my time. He’s always been annoyingly respectful.
I continue on, pushing past my pain. “By the time she arrived to the hospital, she had to go into surgery—she had bleeding in her brain. She was supposed to wake up right after the anesthesia wore off. But she never did; she still hasn’t.” I don’t realize how low my voice got until I am done.
When I finally find the courage to look up, his eyes are wet, echoing the pain I feel. This time, when his hand reaches out to mine, I let him take it.
“Laura, I’m so sorry. Lisa’s strong; she’ll pull through.”
Blowing out the air I was holding, I respond, my voice still low, “Yeah, she has to.”
His thumb strokes over my knuckles, calming my racing heart. As much as I want to, it’s hard to hate him right now.
Enough about me. This vulnerability is making my skin crawl. “What about you? How have you been?”
His thumb brushes over my knuckles again, grabbing my attention to it. My brain is begging me to pull away, to cut this off. But I’m afraid it’s the only thing holding me together right now.
He continues the soothing movements over and over. “Well, I got signed to the Nighthawks last year. I got a five-year contract with a good salary. It’s been great.” He looks guilty, probably feeling bad that he doesn’t have any new baggage to add.
I lift my thumb up, wrapping it over his thumb, offering a genuine smile. “That’s great, Alec. It really is.”
Maybe all of this was for the best. Maybe he never would have gotten this far if he had stayed with us. Maybe this all happened the way it was supposed to.
He returns my smile, his dimple popping out. “Thanks, Lu.”
I want to hate him. I want to hate every part of him. But he’s living his dream. He got everything he’d ever wanted. I can’t hate that. No matter how much I want to. A part of me will always love Alec.
Alec clears his throat, pulling my attention back to him. “Can I see you again?”
I pull my hand back, resuming the nervous tapping. I want to walk away. We’ve been around each other for less than an hour, and I already know that when I leave, I’m going to miss this, miss our connection.
I should say no. But the only word that falls out of my mouth is, “Yes.”
His eyes light up, and he lifts his lips into that fucking smirk. “Tonight?”
A laugh slips from my lips. “That was fast.”
“Well, why waste any time? And the hockey team’s having a party tonight. I’m pretty sure Reed is bringing Charlotte. And I would like to bring you.”
His cheeks heat up a little, and I bite my lip at his reaction, shocked I can still cause it.
At least if Char is there, then I’ll have an escape goat if I need one. “Okay.”
“Okay?” The question huffs out of him, like he is so shocked that I said yes.
“Yes, I’ll go with you. What time, and what should I wear? Like, is it dressy?” Suddenly, anxiety floods me.Ugh, I’m not ready for this.
